"Beat & Release": Café Dispute Prompts Pummeling of Jounalist, in Burhaniye

türkçe links to original Turkish article

(Hürriyet Newspaper, 24 November 2024)

               Freedom of  (pummeling) the  press.

In Balıkesir's Burhaniye district on 19 November at around

2200 hours, Hasan Bayram, who was elected as a member of

the district's council in the 31 March elections from the CHP

party, went to a restaurant and attacked journalist Hakan 

Sataroğlu, the owner of the ZeytinEfe newspaper, smashing

a bottle into Sataroğlu's head. 

Bayram then grabbed Sataroğlu by the back of his neck and

dragged him onto the floor, kicking him while he was down.

Police arrived and had Sataroğlu taken to a hospital for 

treatment.  As for Bayram, he was released after giving a 

statement to police (!). 

The origin of the problem between the two was, evidently,

that Sataroğlu was looking into the matter of a municipal 

café on the shore having been given over to Bayram to run.

"Beat & Release": Under House Arrest, He Kills Wife at Home, Sheds Electronic Clamp and Flees, in Ankara

türkçe links to original Turkish article.

(Hürriyet Newspaper, 22 November 2024)

                      Home is where the heartless is.

Yesterday, Servet Bozkurt, who was under house arrest and wearing an 

electronic clamp for arranging a courthouse attack on Selma Ateş Kazanç, 

the older sister of murdered "Ülkü Ocakları" (Idealists Hearths - a right-

wing group) chief Sinan Ateş, killed his estranged wife and her boyfriend 

in Ankara, before fleeing to Istanbul.

At the 2 October hearing concerning Ateş's murder, Selma hanım was

attacked by Mert Can Kılıç, to whom Bozkurt had given 3,000 TL

(about $87) to perpetrate the assault.  Consequently, Bozkurt was 

sentenced to house arrest.

Yesterday in Ankara's Etimesgut district, Bozkurt and his wife Elif

Bozkurt, who is in the process of divorcing Bozkurt, argued at

their home. As their children sought refuge in a neighbor's house,

Bozkurt slit Elif hanım's throat, broke off the electronic 

clamp and fled the scene.   He then went to the shop of Elif hanım's

alleged boyfriend Hasan Şahin and stabbed him to death. 

Last night Bozkurt was captured at a hotel in Istanbul's Beylikdüzü

district.  He had left prison a year ago. 

Etimesgut, at mark.

****************************************************

türkçe links to original Turkish article.

(Hürriyet Newspaper, 22 November 2024)

                       "We would rather not die."

Interior Minister Ali Yerlikaya provided some grim statistics at a

TBMM (Turkish Parliament) hearing: 

Murders of women: 284 in 2022; 309 in 2023; 276 in first 10

months of 2024;

Restraint orders on males; 162,897 (!) - first 10 months of this year;

Security personnel suicides: last 1.5 years - 79 police; 74 Gendarmerie;

2 Coast Guard.  

"Dig & Release": Fake City Workers Digging in Downtown Isparta Were Treasure Hunters

türkçe links to original Turkish article

(Hürriyet Newspaper, 21 November 2024)

          They claimed to have a secret treasure map.

The night before last at about nine-thirty, four "municipal workers"

wearing orange work vests began to dig on the sidewalk with a 

back-hoe in the center of Isparta city.  The four told onlookers that

they were city employees.  Shortly thereafter, though, their digging

caused damage to the underground electric and natural gas lines,

prompting the aforesaid onlookers to inform the authorities. 

Quickly, city officials and utilities personnel arrived at the scene

and determined that the four "municipal workers" were, in fact,

treasure hunters (!).  Three of them were apprehended at the scene

and the fourth was spotted by acting police chief Volkan Güneş,

who got out of his car and nabbed the suspect. 

After giving statements to the police, İsmail Avcı, Halis Tümen

Yaşar Güzel, Hacı Duran Cırdı and a fifth suspect, Şükrü Canıtez,

were arrested for "illegal trafficking in historical works" and 

"damage to public property".  The suspect refuted the charge 

about "treasure hunting" and "explained" that they were merely

doing some work on a construction project in the region (!). 

"Bleed & Release": Two Russians Caught Smuggling 5,000 Leeches into Turkey at Istanbul Airport

türkçe links to original Turkish article

(Hürriyet Newspaper, 20 November 2024)

Customs guy should have taken leave that day (yuk!).

On 18 November at Istanbul Airport customs officials x-rayed

a suitcase belonging to two Russian citizens and found 5,000 

live medicinal leeches (!) in two traveling bags.  Local animal 

protection officials in nearby Arnavutköy district were notified 

and found that the Russians did not have proper documentation

for the creatures, which are protected under the CITES 

(Convention on International Trade in Endangered Species of 

Wild Fauna and Flora) Agreement.

Consequently, all 5,000 leeches, weighing 8.34 kilograms, 

were seized and the two Russians were fined 2,624,816 TL

(about $76,000) for trying to import the leeches into Turkey

illegally. 

None of the 5,000 leeches had work permits for 

Turkey either!

"Beat & Release": Wild Celebration Upon Inmate's Release from Jail, in Adana

türkçe links to original Turkish article

(Hürriyet Newspaper, 18 November 2024)

       Might just go back in after "celebration".

A prisoner just released from jail in Adana celebrated in the 

streets of the 19 Mayıs Mahallesi neighborhood of the city's

Yüreğir district with his friends and relatives, setting up a 

sound system for music, lighting torches and firing guns into

the air (!). 

The mayhem was posted on social media (of course), prompting

the police to  come and try to quell the disturbance. 

"X" marks the mayehm.

"Beat & Release": When Social Media Phenoms Collide Sparks (and Bullets) Fly, in Ankara

türkçe links to original Turkish article

(Hürriyet Newspaper, 17 November 2024)

          Like two supernovas crashing into each other!

Last night at about 8 o'clock social media phenoms Çağlayan

Yıldırım and Cansum Şener (29) met to settle their differences

in the Plevne neighborhood of Ankara's Sincan district. An

argument erupted between the two and Cansum hanım shot

Çağlayan hanım with a revolver in her leg, before fleeing the

scene with her boyfriend. 

You think just anybody can do this job??!!

Çağlayan hanım was taken to a hospital for treatment and 

is said to be in good condition.  In any case, Çağlayan hanım

posted a video of the incident on social media.  As for Cansum

hanım, who has a police record of 80 crimes (!), she and her

boyfriend were arrested in Altındağ district and the revolver

she used in the incident was seized by police. 

Purported Pablo Picasso Masterpiece Seized in Remote Northeastern Anatolia

türkçe links to original Turkish article

(Hürriyet Newspaper, 16 November 2024)

           OMG! Turkish censors asleep at the switch!

In raids conducted by the Gendarmerie in the hinterlands

on Anatolia,  3,250 coins from the Ottoman, East Rome, and 

Byzantine periods were recovered, along with a painting 

claimed to be a Pablo Picasso masterpiece (!). 

In simultaneous Gendarmerie raids in 14 provinces of  east 

and southeast Anatolia, 21 suspects were pursued and taken

into custody - 19 of them were released after giving statements

and the other two were brought before a judge but released

under judicial supervision. 

The raid in Bayburt yielded the  purported Picasso painting, 

which is now being evaluated by experts to determine whether 

it is an authentic product of that great master. The suspects 

sought to sell it for 6 million Euros.

No doubt painted during Picasso's "Bayburt Period".

Driverless Metro Train Bypasses Five Stations, in Istanbul

türkçe links to original Turkish article

(Hürriyet Newspaper, 16 November 2024)

driverless disasters click to see just how bad it can get.

                              Not the tunnel of love.

A driverless metro train left the Üsküdar station en route to

Samandıra but after passengers disembarked at the Bulgurlu

station the train passed by the Ümraniye, Çarşı, Yamanevler,

Çakmak and İhlamurkuyu stations without stopping (!).

Passengers alarmed by the train missing their stops pressed

the emergency button but to no avail.  Finally, the train came

to a halt near (but not at) the Altınşehir station.  Passengers

found a way to get off the train and walked along the tracks 

in the tunnel (!) to the Altınşehir station.

On one of the videos taken by the stranded passengers, 

someone alerts the others, saying "Hurry up and get off!

There's a train coming from behind!"

Oh yeah, sometimes there's an unscheduled express.

"Eat & Release": When Fishing Season Opens, Thief Trawls Fish Store, in Küçükçekmece

türkçe links to original Turkish article

(Hürriyet Newspaper, 15 November 2024)

                           Hmmm something's fishy...

At the Yılmaz Balıkçı fish store on the shore road of Küçükçekmece

in Istanbul, Uğur Yaşar (32) sells and grills fish.  Last week on Monday 

a thief entered the store with an iron bar, broke open a freezer and made

off with 20 "palamut" ((bonito, short-finned tunny)) worth 150 TL each,

along with stealing some corn flour.  But considering the damage to be

insignificant, Yaşar did not file a police complaint. 

However (!), on 11 November the fish thief returned and staked out

the store at about 1 o'clock in the morning.  When he discerned that

no one was around the thief entered the store and stole some cargo

packages, two pairs of shoes belonging to the fishmongers, five five-

kilogram cans of oil, and 10 kilograms of corn flour.  Before fleeing, 

the thief tried again to get into the fish freezer but failed.  Instead, he 

took a laptop computer and mouse.

In the morning, seeing that he had been victimized again by the thief,

Yaşar went to the police with store security camera footage.  Yaşar

said that he has been running this fish store for 15 years.  He lamented

that "the last time the thief came he took salmon.  Before that he took

sea bass and turbot.  When the fishing season starts he comes regularly

and robs the store like it's his routine.  This time he made a big mess of

the store so I filed a complaint."

"Beat & Release": Three Iranian Brothers' Stock Market Losses Prompted Collective Suicide, in Antalya

türkçe links to original Turkish article

(Hürriyet Newspaper, 14 November 2024) 

                              They cashed in their chips.

Three Iranian brothers who came to Antalya some time ago, 

rented a furnished flat in Güzeloba neighborhood of Muratpaşa

district.  When the brothers' family in Iran could not reach

them for 15 days they contacted Iranian Emrullah Esedi in

Antalya.

Esedi went to the brothers' rented flat with the police and

entered with the owner's key, only to find the dead bodies of

Mohammed Reza Yasovalian (44), Mohsen Yasovalian (36) 

and Anmirhossein Yasovalian (33).  Police found a 9-page

note in Farsi relating that the three brothers had lost a large

amount of money playing the stock market and decided to

commit suicide together.  

1929 New York stock market crash precedent...

The doors and windows inside the house had been taped

to prevent air from entering and the smoke from a coal

fire the brothers lit suffocated all of them. 

"Beat & Release": Scimitar-wielding Attacker Chased Away by Mop-wielding Defender, in Istanbul

türkçe links to original Turkish article

(Hürriyet Newspaper, 13 November 2024)

                                    Mop bests scimitar!

In Beyoğlu, Istanbul, Iranian Soohasadat Mojsenalhosseini (27)

paid six months rent about a month ago to open a restaurant. A

while later the building's owners filed a complaint about their

renter in some relation to an insult of a woman.  

Mojsenalhosseini was sent to an immigration center for 

deportation but he was released a month later on judicial 

supervision.  Meanwhile, the owners wanted him to vacate

th restaurant site. 

Erkan E. (50), one of the brothers who own the building, 

raided the restaurant at about 2130 hours the night before

last and attacked Mojsenalhosseini and his workers with a

scimitar (!).  (Somehow) no one was injured but Erkan E.

caused some damage to the restaurant's furnishings. A 

worker brandishing a mop (!) succeeded in chasing Erkan E.

from the premises.  

Erkan E. was arrested by police and Mojsenalhosseini was

sent back to the immigration holding center. 

"Beat & Release": Guard Who Shot Drunken Rowdy at Metro Station is Himself Arrested (!), in Istanbul

türkçe links to original Turkish article

(Hürriyet Newspaper, 12 November 2024)

Guard M.T.'s lament: "No good deed goes unpunished".

The evening before last at about 1930 hours at the Bostancı 

Marmaray station drunken A.A. was pestering others so 

security guard M.T. (41) warned him to behave himself.  This

prompted A.A. to attack M.T., who then shot AA. in the leg. 

Medics arrived to take A.A. to a hospital for treatment.

M.T.'s back-up was off duty at the time. 

Police checked their records and found that A.A. had been 

arrested before for "breaking and entering".  As for M.T.

he was arraigned in court for "intentional wounding" (!)

but released on judicial supervision. 

"Time-release Conspiracy Theory": Donald, Baron and John Trump Together in a Wacky Time Warp

türkçe links to original Turkish article

(Hürriyet Newspaper, 10 November 2024)

Trump voters head to the polls click here for post-

election analysis from "The Time Machine".

A conspiracy theory making the rounds after Donald Trump's

recent election victory describes Trump's son Baron as a time 

traveler (!).  A children's book written in the 19th century by 

Ingersoll Lockwood, an American jurist and author, is being 

likened to the story of Trump's return to power.  

The book's hero is a young and rich aristocrat who lives in 

"Trump Fortress".  This hero has a son named "Little Baron 

Trump" who has a fantastic imagination that prompts him to 

disdain his life of luxury. In Lockwood's first book, Trump-the-

younger finds a secret gate for time travel that takes him to 

Russia (!) for life-changing adventures.  All of the events in the 

book take place in Russia. 

Four years after the first book, Lockwood wrote another

related book that was published in 1896 and entitled "The

Last President".  The book's story centers on a rich man who

lives on 5th Avenue in New York City, where today's Trump

Tower is located, and who runs for president although no one

gives him any chance of winning. 

The conspiracy theory has a connection to scientist Nikola 

Tesla who died in 1943.  It has been claimed that Tesla invented

a time machine for time travel and that an engineer named John

G. Trump,  Donald Trump's grandfather (actually Donald Trump's

uncle), a member of the National Defense Research Committee,

investigated Tesla's work on the time machine.  After going through 

Tesla's notes, though, John G. Trump came up with no result - or as 

the conspiracy theory asserts, kept the secret of the time machine 

to himself. 

"Beat & Release": Wife's Late-Night Vacuuming Drives Hubby to Divorce Court, in Istanbul

türkçe links to original Turkish article

(Hürriyet Newspaper, 9 November 2024)

       Feyza hanım shows no mercy.

In Istanbul, technician Emnre E. (33) married interior decorator

Feyza K.E. (29) in 2022 but nine months later Emre bey filed

for divorce citing his wife's late-night vacuuming (!) and fast

driving, prompted by her jealousy.  In addition, in his suit Emre

bey asked for 200,000 TL for emotional distress and 300,000TL

for material compensation. 

In his petition Emre bey stated that "In the third week of our

marriage our downstairs neighbors asked that my wife not run

the vacuum cleaner at night because of their newborn baby. 

Nevertheless, the defendant continued to vacuum late at night.

My wife retorted 'you only think about others, not me!'  When

she noticed a woman near us jealousy prompted her to drive

at high speeds, putting both of our lives in danger." (!)

For her part, Feyza hanım said that Emre bey's assertions were

baseless and she asked for 1 million TL in reparations.  Her

lawyer Ümit Erdoğan told the court that Feyza hanım loves her

husband and does not want a divorce.  The suit has been locked

in a stalemate since September 2023 and a decision did not

emerge from the third hearing. 

                           "It's either football or me!"

"Beat & Release": Scooter Rider Hit by Truck Cab at Its "Blind Spot", in Pendik

türkçe links to original Turkish article

(Hürriyet Newspaper, 8 November 2024)

                               Vehicular mismatch.

Ecem Sultan Çamlı (28) worked as an engineer at an aerospace

technology firm in Istanbul.  On 5 November on her way to 

work on her scooter at around 0845, she was hit by a TIR cab

(tractor-trailer) driven by Hasan Furkan Çolak (24) and dragged

150 meters.  Ecem Sultan hanım died at a hospital from her 

injuries. 

Çolak was taken into custody for "causing death by neglect".

In his statement Çolak related that "As I was heading toward

Sabiha Gökçen Airport, I heard the cars behind me beeping 

their horns so I stopped my truck, got out and saw an injured

person, whose name I learned was Ecem Sultan Çamlı, lying

on the ground in back of the truck.  I found out from the 

onlookers that I had hit this woman on her scooter.  I myself

did not see the incident because the deceased was riding her

scooter at the right front blind spot of my truck.  I did not

feel or sense that I had hit anything."

"In any case, I went to her and asked about her condition.

She replied that she was OK but was having trouble 

breathing.  She was taken to a hospital in an ambulance.

I don't think I was at fault in the accident.  The right lane

was closed and I was in the far left lane because I was 

going to turn 40-50 meters later.  I do not accept the blame

that has been cast upon me."

"Beat & Release": Drug Addict Son Kills and Decapitates Mom; Sentenced to "Life + 6 Months", in Istanbul

türkçe links to original Turkish article

(Hürriyet Newspaper, 7 November 2024)

                             Freudian slip and slash.

In Bağcılar district of Istanbul on 25 September 2022, Ali 

Sayan (28) and his mother Havva Sayan argued, prompting

Ali bey to kill her, cut off her head and throw it into the 

street (!).  Afterwards, he set fire to the house to avoid capture

by the police but he was nabbed in the house after firefighters

put the fire out. 

When Ali bey faced a judge he "explained" that "I don't recall

the incident. I learned about it in the hospital.  I've been using

antidepressants since childhood.  Now I'm addicted to all sorts

of drugs."

Ali bey participated in the court hearing from jail  by means of 

SEGBİS (like ZOOM).  He was convicted of killing a family 

elder and of  "intentionally creating a public danger", receiving 

a jail sentence of  "life plus six months" (!). 

Ali bey had a gruesome sequel in mind...

"Beat & Release": Justice Prevails! Driver Exonerated After Fine for 1 KPH + Speeding, in Kayseri

türkçe links to original Turkish article

(Hürriyet Newspaper, 6 November 2024)

Kargın also wants warning signs in Turkish henceforth!

Veli Kargın, an Ankara lawyer, learned from a notice he 

received from the Kayseri Regional Traffic Supervision Office,

that on 12 June 2024 between the hours of 17:23 and 17:52

he had exceeded the speed limit on the Kayseri-Malatya 

highway by 1 kph (!) and was fined 1,506 TL (about $44).

Kargın, though, appealed the fine noting that "with the 10 kph

tolerance, the speed limit on this road is 121 kph and I was 

fined for going 122 kph.  At any given moment, in 

consideration of  gradient and other road conditions, exceeding 

the speed limit by 1 kph is normal.  I request that the fine be 

voided."

A court decision on the matter came down in Kargın's favor

and his fine was voided.  The court declared that "It was not

easy for the driver to adjust to the traffic flow in light of the

road conditions, in regard to him having exceeded the speed 

limit by 1 kph. Additionally, his speedometer reflecting such

a slight difference and him noticing it was problematic.  

İn light of the radar system's sensitivities, weather and other

conditions it is not reasonable to consider 1kph to be over

the speed limit."

"Beat & Release": Football Booster Club Chief Offended, Puts Blonde Wig on Offender, in Istanbul

türkçe links to original Turkish article

(Hürriyet Newspaper, 5 November 2024)

                       A blonde not having more fun.

A photograph of Cem Gölbaşı, the leader of the "Young  

Fenerbahçe Boosters" club, was shared on a fake social

media account bearing the name and profile of former 

Turkish Football Federation president Mehmet Büyükekşi

on 17 October.  The caption for Gölbaşı's photograph

read "Look at this guy who went to the beach. Did you just

come down from a mountain?", along with some cursing. 

Those who were offended by this posting, including Gölbaşı, 

were able to identify the real poster as Burhan İ.  They 

tracked him down at his workplace, kidnapped him,  took a 

picture of him wearing a blonde wig, and made him post the 

picture on his own social media account along with this video 

statement: "I apologize for the wrongheaded thing I did to my 

elder, Cem Gölbaşı."

Subsequently, Burhan İ. filed a police complaint and 

Gölbaşı, along with six friends, were taken into custody

on Saturday, charged with kidnapping, and jailed. 

Not amused.

Halloween Nightmare: Elderly Man Beaten to Death With Pumpkin, in Karabük

türkçe links to original Turkish article

(Cumhuriyet Newspaper, 5 November 2024)

                                    Trick, no treat.

In Safranbolu district of Karabük province, when İbrahim Tuna's

three daughters in Istanbul hadn't heard from him in three days they 

had the village chief go to his home and he found Tuna (93) dead 

from blows to the head with a pumpkin (!).  A mentally-impaired 

individual was taken into custody for the killing and jailed. 

Tuna lived alone in Konarı village but his daughters, living in Istanbul,

contacted village chief Mustafa Özşen when they hadn't been able to

reach their dad since 28 October.   Özşen went to Tuna's house but no

one responded. He checked the perimeter and saw that a ladder was

propped up against the rear balcony, raising his suspicions.  Özşen

found another ladder and entered the house through the balcony. 

Killer pumpkins can climb ladders!!

He found Tuna on the bed completely covered.  When Özşen lifted the

cover he was confronted with a horrific sight and summoned Gendarmerie

troops, who determined that Tuna had died after being hit multiple times 

with a pumpkin (!).  They also determined that Tuna had gotten his 

retirement salary on 28 October but there was no money in the house 

and the house key was missing, too. 

The Gendarmerie unit identified another villager, mentally handicapped

Ayhan Aksoy (53), as the "pumpkin killer" and took him into custody in 

Emek village around midnight. They found Tuna's 11,800 TL salary and

his house key in Aksoy's house.    Aksoy was processed and taken to the

Karabük T-type Closed Prison

 

"Beat & Release": Blocked Ambulance That Drew Sympathy on Social Media Actually a Truck Posing as an "Ambulance", in Istanbul

türkçe links to original Turkish article

(Hürriyet Newspaper, 3 November 2024)

       A.A.: "One way? Fine, I'm only going one way."

In Istanbul's Küçükçekmece district on 1 November,an 

"ambulance" was unable to proceed down a back street

because the car coming from the opposite direction would

not yield the right of way.  The "ambulance" backed up and gave

way to the other car.  A pedestrian videoed the incident and

posted it on social media, prompting negative reactions and

a police investigation.  

//NOTE: many times, drivers impede ambulances for no reason 

other than spite. Other times, the ambulance may be used for 

other purposes like this one  below ferrying contraband 

cigarettes, or as a taxi to get passengers through traffic faster.//

However (!),  it turned out that the "ambulance" was actually

a light truck dressed up as an "ambulance"  and illegally 

appearing to be a real ambulance.  Driver A.A. was taken into

custody and fined 23,709 TL ($690), while the "ambulance"

was banned from the roads for 15 days.