"Beat & Release": Patient Stabs Doctor Claiming He Put "AI" Chip in His Head, in Niğde

türkçe links to original Turkish article

(Hürriyet Newspaper, 6 March 2025)

              Tufan bey noticed he was too smart lately. 

The day before yesterday, an argument erupted between brain surgeon

Dr. Burak Yürük (34) and his patient Tufan Saraçoğlu at Ömer 

Halisdemir University Training and Research Hospital in Niğde, with

Tufan bey stabbing Dr. Yürük four times in his head and body.  A

security guard intervened and Tufan bey was apprehended, while Dr.

Yürük was treated for the stab wounds - he is in good condition. 

It turned out that Dr. Yürük had performed an operation on Tufan

bey for a brain tumor 7 months ago and, according to Tufan bey, "he 

implanted an artificial intelligence  chip in my head!"   As for 

Dr. Yürük, he stated that "After the operation, he came by for check-ups

from time to time, and later I learned that he was taking drugs and 

acting strangely.  On the day of the incident, he came to my room 

and demanded his money back and attacked me." (!)

"Wire & Release": Electrical Linemen Create "Cable Man", in Yüksekova

türkçe links to original Turkish article

(Sözcü Newspaper, 5 March 2025)

                                Ready for his audition...

Sabri Akdoğan and Fikret Öztıunç, repairmen for the Lake Van

Electricity Distribution Company (VEDAŞ) in Yüksekova 

district of Hakkari province, have created a "cable man" 

sculpture using extra  wires and parts.  The two are members of 

a 40-person group at the VEDAŞ repair service center on

İpekyolu Avenue in the district.

                                  ...to star in AI sequel. 

"Meow & Release": A Cat Named "Picasso" Rules an Art Class, in Düzce

türkçe links to original Turkish article

(Hürriyet Newspaper, 4 March 2025)

                 The great master Picasso reincarnated.

Pınar Yardımcı, the art teacher at Cemil Meriç Anadolu High

School in Düzce, encountered a stray cat roaming around outside

the school.  Pınar Hoca brought the cat to a vet, who determined

that the feline was a "British Shorthair" and very unused to 

cold and harsh weather.  The cat had no "chip" so the owner

could not be found, prompting Pınar Hoca  to host the cat in the 

school's art studio. 

                                       Teacher's pet.

The cat quickly made itself at home in the studio and became

the class mascot with the name "Picasso".  Pınar Hoca related

the story as follows: "When I came to school I saw this cat in

the garden roaming around by itself and it seemed to be a very

calm and delicate animal but not one to be left outdoors.  

Eventually, I brought the cat into the studio and made a place

for it.  The vet examined the cat and pronounced it healthy.

Now, 'Picasso' has class together with all of us and has become

our mascot."

 

"Beating Heart & Release": Doctor Coincidentally Encounters and Operates on Man He Saved a Year Earlier, in Antalya

türkçe links to original Turkish article

(Hürriyet Newspaper, 3 March 2025)

    

                      Chance is a fool's name for fate.

In Antalya, Prof. Dr. Tuğrul Çakır performed an intestinal

operation on Ramazan Öğe, whom he had resuscitated 13 months 

before after Öğe had been shot in a land dispute.  Dr. Çakır, who is

on the faculty of  Alanya University, happened to meet Öğe again 

two months ago when Öğe sought him out for an operation on his 

intestines.

After Öğe was shot, he spent four months in intensive care,

where his spleen was removed and seven operations were 

performed to repair his intestines.   Subsequently, Öğe 

explained his travail to Dr. Çakır, who then remembered that

it was Öğe he had resuscitated about a year earlier (!). 

Dr. Çakır related that "To see a person whose heart had stopped

beating and whom I resuscitated with a massage a year later

is an incredible feeling and one of the most meaningful in my

professional life."

As for Öğe, he noted that at the time of the life-saving massage

he was unconscious and didn't remember the doctor -  "But he

remembered me, which shocked me!"

 

"Beat & Release": Turkish Couple in New Jersey "Iced" by Trump Agents as Illegal Migrants

türkçe links to original Turkish article

(Hürriyet Newspaper, 2 March 2025)

                     As someone might say: "SAD!!!"

Cemal and Emine Emanet live in America's state of New Jersey,

in the Cherry Hill area.  On 25 February, ICE agents raided 

their home and restaurant with long-barrel rifles, hadcuffing

the couple and taking them into custody as illegal aliens (!). 

Their restaurant was sealed shut and the two were released

the following day with electronic handcuffs.  Cemal bey 

characterized their ordeal as the result of Donald Trump and

the ICE team satisfying a whim. 

The Emanet couple's neighbors were critical of Trump's

immigration policies and wrote "We're With You!" and "You're

Not Alone!" on the restaurant's windows.   So far they have

raised $200,000 in support of the Emanets. 

Proof that not all Americans are idiots:

Cemal Bey related that after having earned a masters degree 

in the USA, he is continuing his doctoral studies.  He is also

a member of religious organization in New Jersey and applied

for a "green card" nine years ago, albeit without a response

one way or the other so far.  Cemal Bey had asked a lawyer 

about his immigration situation in light of Trump's election and 

was told not to worry, since the expulsion focus would be on 

illegal migrant criminals (!). 

The couple's son Muhammet Emanet stated that his parents

were taken into custody by ICE without any explanation.

He noted that "I have two siblings at home and one of them

is autistic - both of them are American citizens."  

After being sworn in as president on 20 January, Trump has

essentially gone on the warpath against illegal migrants.

Trump suggests a "get out of jail" solution for $5 million...

"Fleece & Release": Auto-hoodwinkers Nabbed in "Operation Trampa", in Diyarbakır

türkçe links to original Turkish article

(Hürriyet Newspaper, 1 March 2025)

   What's in a name. Gang's mastermind at his showroom. 

In Diyarbakır, "Operation Trampa" (!) was conducted by police

against a gang suspected of taking the motor and chassis numbers

from vehicles destroyed in the Kahramanmaraş earthquake of 

6 February 2023 or otherwise made unusable because of traffic

accidents.  The suspects then put the purloined numbers on stolen,

impounded and foreign cars for sale on the automobile market. 

The suspects sold these cars to unsuspecting buyers, reaping

36,000,430 TL (about $990,000) in ill-gotten gains.  In the

police operation, 7 suspects were taken into custody and a

search produced an unlicensed revolver and motor blocks with

the serial numbers shaved off.  The 7 suspects were jailed.

NOTE: in Turkish "trampa" means barter, exchange. 

A "trampacı" is a peddler who sells by barter for rags and

old wares. (!) 

"Beat & Release": Attacked by Butcher Wife and "Karate Kid" Daughter, Man Wants Divorce and Alimony, in Istanbul

türkçe links to original Turkish article

(Hürriyet Newspaper, 28 February 2025)

       Witchdoctor gave her complexion problems too.

A.K. and K.K. married 22 years ago and had three children

together.  Wife K.K., a butcher (!), had psychological problems

but she resisted taking medicine and when she stopped taking her

pills altogether her psyche went off the rails and she took

out her angst on her children. 

K.K. began seeing a "cinci hoca" (witchdoctor) in the Fatih

district of Istanbul at great expense.  The couple's 4th grade

daughter, in particular, suffered from her mother's poor

treatment and began taking karate classes to beat up her

classmates (!). 

K.K. alleged that husband A.K. was seeing other women

and, convincing her daughter of this, she and the young

girl attacked A.K. with a weight used in the girl's karate

training.  With great difficulty, A.K. escaped from his

familial assailants and spent the night in his wife's butcher

shop. 

Now the couple is in divorce court and A.K. is demanding

custody of their children, along with 24 million TL (about

$660,000) in compensation and monthly alimony of 50,000 TL 

(about $1,400).  K.K.'s butcher shop does very well (!). 

K.K. and spiritual guide.

"Beat & Release": Better Late Than Never - Police Nab "Underpass Pervert" After Five Years, in Istanbul

türkçe links to original Turkish article

(Hürriyet Newspaper, 27 February 2025)

In heated competition with the ...

"overpass pervert"

Police in Istanbul's Ataşehir distrıct have finally nabbed the

pervert who has been sexually harassing women in the

underpass beneath the Tuzcuoğlu Bridge in the Barbaros

neighborhood for the past five years (!).  Musa İlker Yazıcılar

was apprehended in his home in Pendik on 19 February. 

Women warned: "I'd turn back if I were you."

"Beat & Release": Child Reveals Mother's "Accidental" Death Came From Dad's Gun, in Aydın

türkçe links to original Turkish article

(Hürriyet Newspaper, 26 February 2025)

                     Out of the mouths of babes...

On 21 December at about 8 o'clock at night near the Selatin Tunnel on 

the Aydın-Izmir highway, a car with plate number 09 EB 225 driven by

Rıdvan Buçan (34) hit a barrier and as a result of the crash Buçan's wife

Derya Buçan (28) died, while their 6-year-old child D.B. was injured. 

After an autopsy was performed, Derya hanım was buried.  Rıdvan 

bey and D.B. were released from the hospital.  

However (!), the Gendarmerie questioned the youngster with the 

assistance of a pedagog and it turned out that prior to the "accident" the 

child's parents argued and the sound of a gunshot was heard, but Rıdvan 

bey assured the child that the sound came from elsewhere.  Then, the 

"accident" occurred.  

The autopsy report was reviewed again and it was determined that 

Derya hanım's cause of death was a gunshot to the head (!).   Rıdvan

bey confessed to the killing and was arrested and jailed on 30 December.

"Beat & Release": Kids Throwing Snowballs at 2 A.M. - "Victim" Pulls a Gun on Them, in Istanbul

türkçe links to original Turkish article

(Hürriyet Newspaper, 25 February 2025)

            A snowball ambush at 2 in the morning - 

                            what would you do?!

In Eyüpsultan district of Istanbul at about 2 o'clock in the

morning on 22 February, children were throwing snowballs

at passing cars.  One driver, H.I. (44), took exception to the

barrage and pursued the children into an apartment building

lobby, threatening them with his unlicensed revolver (!). 

A related complaint brought police to the scene and they

reviewed security camera footage that showed H.I. brandishing

the gun at the kids.  He was arrested and jailed. 

"Snow Bride" Kidnapped!, in Istanbul

türkçe links to original Turkish article

(Sözcü Newspaper, 24 February 2025)

They look so happy...but it wouldn't have lasted anyway.

In the Avcılar district of Istanbul, hairdresser Bekir Gök made

a "snow bride" instead of a snowman and this attracted quite

a bit of attention, including from thieves, who stole the

bride's head and hair during the night.  The "bridenapping" 

was recorded on a security camera. 

"Beat & Release": Obsessed Man Pierces Ceiling in Pursuit of Unrequited Love, in Istanbul

türkçe links to original Turkish article

(Hürriyet Newspaper, 23 February 2025)

"Ain't no ceiling high enough that can keep me from

gettin' to you!"

In Istanbul's Ümraniye district two female students, one

Palestinian and the other Algerian, living as renters on the

3rd floor of a 3-story building, were joined by the Palestinian

student's mother.  

However (!), the mother was the object of one H.S.'s obsession.

H.S. first hid in the roof of the building and on 20 February he

punched a hole in the ceiling of the students' flat, dropped down

into the flat and cut off the electricity.  He then waited for the

women to come and when they did he attacked them with a 

stick.  

The women were taken to a hospital for treatment and are said

to be in good condition. Police tracked down H.S. and took him

into custody in Gaziosmanpaşa district of the city.  

Landlord Cengiz Yaşar noted that "I have two renters, the two

students.  One of their mothers came later to stay as a guest.

But there was this guy who was obsessed with the mother. It's

quite a sordid story.  The students have been living here since

then signed the contract last August and behaved very well,

going back and forth to school.  Then this guy shows up to

create turmoil!"

Obsession Avenue

"Beat & Release": DNA Reveals Dentist Fathered Partner's Two Kids, in Izmir

türkçe links to original Turkish article

(Hürriyet Newspaper, 23 February 2025)

              Famous for his extracurricular drilling. 

The evening before last at about 1700 in Izmir's Alsancak 

district, dentist Mehmet Emrah Düşmez (49) received an

unexpected visit to his home by M.E. (34).  Because of 

a previous problem between the two an argument erupted

and M.E. shot Düşmez in the head.  To top it off, M.E.

grabbed Düşmez's telephone and sent a picture of the 

bloodied Düşmez to his mother, who called police in a

panic. 

Düşmez was taken to a hospital, where his condition

remains serious.  Police tracked down and apprehended

M.E. in the Basmane neighborhood of the city.  In his

statement to police, M.E. said that he and Düşmez had

been business partners 10 years ago, selling dental

equipment and renting cars, but Düşmez subsequently

defrauded him. 

Adding insult to injury, M.E. related that two years ago 

he learned that Düşmez and his wife were having an affair 

so he divorced her.  However, four months ago, based on

his suspicions, M.E. had DNA testing done concerning

his two children, ages 9 and 7.  The test results proved

that the children's biological father is Düşmez (!). 

M.E. told police that "When I learned this I shot

Düşmez and I couldn't restain myself from sending 

the picture to his mother."

"...and then there's the  requisite follow-up drilling."

"Snow & (No) Release": Governor Pelted With Students' Snowballs After Refusing Another "Snow Day", in Erzurum

türkçe links to original Turkish article

(Hürriyet Newspaper, 22 February 2025) 

Another "Snow Day"?  Not a snowball's chance in hell!

Schools in Erzurum were closed on 20 February because of 

snow and students sent messages via social media urging 

Governor Hamza Aydoğdu to cancel school on 21 February,

too.  However (!), Aydoğdu opined that the snow's effect

had lessened so the students had to attend school on the 21st.

When Aydoğdu visited the Cumhuriyet Middle School on the

morning of the 21st he was confronted by students who had

reluctantly come to school.  When he told them "The weather

is great, forget about getting another 'snow day'.  Get into 

class, warm up and study!" 

Hearing this, the students pelted Aydoğdu with snowballs and

the Governor responded in kind, cheerfully telling the students

"Enough already! Go to class!"

"Beat & Release": Vehicular Homicide Fueled by "Rakı", in Adana

türkçe links to original Turkish article

(Hürriyet Newspaper, 21 February 2025) 

Social media posting addiction as bad as his "rakı" fetish.

In Adana's Seyran district on 18 February at about nine-thirty

at night, a light commercial vehicle with plate number 01 AVE

828, driven by Şükrü D. (22), tried to pass a car on the right 

side and hit a motorcycle ridden by Aydın Uslu (52) proceeding

in the right lane.  Şükrü D. then plowed into a light pole. 

Uslu died and Şükrü D. fled the scene, but he was nabbed by 

police in a flat where he was hiding out.  Police found a photo

on Şükrü D.'s social media page showing him drinking "rakı"

at a restaurant table prior to the crash. (!)  Şükrü D. was jailed.

"Beat & Release": May-December Romance Ends With Blackmail, in Istanbul

türkçe links to original Turkish article

(Hürriyet Newspaper, 20 February 2025)

                          Her "uncle" said "uncle". 

In Istanbul, businessman M.Ş. (65) wanted his former girlfriend

M.K. (30) to return his car after their 6-year relationship ended.  

M.K. didn't want to give the car back but agreed to meet with 

M.Ş. at a café. 

However (!), M.K. brought three others with her to the meeting

with M.Ş. and one of them, nicknamed "uncle", told M.Ş. "We're

penalizing you 25 million TL (about $690,000 !) and we'll keep

the car."  

(Understandably) M.Ş. let M.K. keep the car and he cut off all

contact with her.  The gang, though, relentlessly threatened M.Ş.

about the 25 million TL "penalty" and prepared to post some

"inappropriate" videos of him that M.K. had recorded.  When

M.Ş. did not respond to the threats his house was sprayed with

bullets on 1 February. 

At this point, M.Ş went to the police, who identified the three

gang members and the car used in the attack on M.Ş.'s home.

Simıltaneous police raids at 20 addresses in 10 districts resulted

in 14 individuals being taken into custody.  M.K. was also 

apprehended for instigating the whole mess.  Ultimately,

10 suspects were jailed, including M.K. 

M.K. would've been the perfect femme fatale for the sequel.

"Beat & Inherit": He Murdered His Sister But Gets Late Mother's Home, in Istanbul

türkçe links to original Turkish article

(Hürriyet Newspaper, 19 February 2025)

New homeowner will have rent-free jail cell as primary

residence.

Can Canıtez (64), living in Istanbul's Beyoğlu district, jumped

from his third-story balcony on 5 September 2023 and was

seriously injured.  While he was taken to a hospital, police

had a locksmith open Canıtez's home, where they found his

sister Rabia Gül Arı in a pool of blood in the kitchen.  Canıtez

had stabbed his sister 39 times (!). 

As Canıtez's trial continued, he applied to the court in connection

with the estate of his dead mother Esin Canıtez, who passed away

on 2 May 2023.  Canıtez claimed that his mother left him her

Beyoğlu home in her will.  His sister Ayşe Naz Şer, who lives in 

Canada, objected but the court ruled in favor of (murderer) 

Canıtez (!). 

"Beat & Release": Two Sisters and an "Accident" Waiting to Happen to One's Husband, in Istanbul

türkçe links to original Turkish article

(Hürriyet Newspaper, 17 February 2025)

       Faruk bey didn't have a chance against the sisters.

Çiğdem B. recently came to Istanbul's Sultangazi district from 

Şanlıurfa to visit her sister.  Since her husband died 3 years ago

Çiğdem has carried a gun in her purse everywhere she goes.

While sitting at a table having dinner with her sister Pınar

Kalburcu and brother-in-law Faruk Kalburcu (46), Çiğdem 

hanım took the gun out of her purse and it went off. (!)

Faruk bey was hit in the back by the bullet and died at a 

hospital.  The sisters were questioned at the police station

and the fact that Faruk bey had been shot in the back, along

with scratches on his face (!), led police to conclude that the

sisters had planned the murder.  Faruk bey's father İsa Bağdatlı

agreed with this suspicion, saying "the two sisters are claiming

it was an accident to save themselves!"  

Faruk bey's body was taken to his hometown of Gaziantep

for burial. 

"Return & Release": Footprints-to-Feet Match Ensures Return of Roman Emperor's Statue to Turkey from Cleveland Art Museum

türkçe links to original Turkish article

(Hürriyet Newspaper, 16 February 2025)

           Feet are fine. Now, how about his head??!!

The bronze statue of Roman Emperor Marcus Aurelius, taken

from the Boubon Antique City in Burdur 65 years ago,  will be

coming back to Turkey, based on a thorough investigation by

Turkish experts and  cooperation  from U.S. law enforcement 

authorities.  The Cleveland Art Museum has agreed to return the 

statue to Turkey.

The Turkish Ministry of Culture and Tourism, citing  research

by a group of experts headed by Prof. Dr. Jale İnan, teamed up

with the office of the U.S. Attorney in Manhattan and the FBI

in 2021 to have statues of Lucius Verus, Septimius Severus and 

Emperor Caracalla, all from Boubon, returned to Turkey. 

However (!), the Cleveland Art Museum resisted returning the

statue of Marcus Aurelius, filing a petition in court in October

2023.   But the strong proof and meticulous research submitted

by Turkey carried the day in court - in particular, the footprints

of the statue at Boubon, molded in silicon in May 2024 , matched

the feet of the statue perfectly.  The Cleveland Art Museum 

acceded to this proof and the Manhattan U.S. Attorney's office

informed the Ministry of the decision to return the statue to

Turkey. 

  

"Beat & Release": Screwball With a Screwdriver Stabbed Wife and Planned to Kill 4 More Relatives, in Kütahya

türkçe links to original Turkish article

(Hürriyet Newspaper, 15 February 2025)

                                    Now he's screwed.

In the Alipaşa neighborhood of Kütahya last Wednesday 

evening, Yavuz Günaydın (45) and his wife G.G. (46)

argued in their home on Beyzade Street.  Yavuz bey then

stabbed his wife 18 times with a screwdriver. (!). Neighbors

intervened and G.G. hanım was taken to Kütahya City

Hospital for treatment. 

Yavuz bey, who suffers from schizophrenia, fled to the

forest and hid there for a while, after which he went into

the town and was apprehended by police on Devlet Hatun

Boulevard.  In his statement to police Yavuz bey said that

he planned to kill 4 other relatives (!) had he not been 

captured. He was charged with "intentional wounding" and

jailed.

"Beat & Release": Chauffeur Kills Boss in Adana and Flees to Istanbul Atop a Tow Truck

türkçe links to original Turkish article

(Hürriyet Newspaper, 14 February 2025)

                    The "eagle" has landed in Tuzla. 

On 6 February at about 8 o'clock at night in Adana's Seyhan

district, businessman Saltık Buğra Keçebaş (45) was shot

dead in the underground parking lot of his apartment house.

The murder suspect had come by motorcycle and fired 6

shots at Keçebaş, hitting him in the head and chest. 

Police reviewed security camera footage and went to the

suspect's home in Çukurova district, where they found his

motorcycle helmet.  It turned out that the suspect was 

Mehmet Ali Kartal (34 and whose surname means "eagle"),

Keçebaş's chauffeur (!). 

After the murder, Kartal went by car via the TAG (Tarsus-

Adana-Gaziantep) highway and at a certain point had his

car loaded onto a tow truck.  Kartal lay in the back seat of

his car, resting atop the tow truck, all the way to Istanbul's

Tuzla district, where he alighted from the tow truck and

boarded a waiting car that took him to Bağcılar district.

Adana police came to Istanbul and captured Kartal at a

house in Bağcılar.  In his statement, Kartal "explained"

that "Keçebaş owed me money but instead of repaying

me he cursed me, so I went and killed him. I'm very

regretful." (!)  Kartal was jailed. 

"Eagle"'s winter migration route.

"Split & Release": Turks and Arabs Being Split Apart by Nature

türkçe links to original Turkish article

(Hürriyet Newspaper, 13 February 2025)

                       Parting is such sweet sorrow...

An international team of researchers from Göttingen University

in Germany has announced that  they have determined that  

there is a 1,500-kilometer split in the Earth stretching from 

Turkey's southeast to northwestern Iran.  The split is under the 

Zagros Mountains on the ancient sea floor of the Tethys Ocean

that once separated the Arab and Eurasian continents. 

The team's article was published in the academic journal 

"Solid Earth" and carried the warning that this geologic split

could have serious consequences for the region.  

Dr. Renas Koshnaw of Göttingen's Geology and Geometeric

Department stated that "This split is pulling the region to the

south."  Today's remaining parts of the Tethys Ocean are the

Mediterranean, Black and Caspian Seas.  The Zagros Mountain

chain, which is thought to have been created by the crash of

the Africa, Arab and Indian plates into the Eurasian plate, is

being pulled south and this may expose new mining sites

among other significant geologic events.  

Dr. Koshnaw added that "This research adds to our knowledge

about the movements of the Earth's crust and may lead to the

discovery of new precious metals beds, along with geothermal

energy possibilities.  Also, we are learning more about 

earthquake risks, too."

"Gulf of Mexico" on the left should, of course, henceforth

be referred to as "Gulf of America" (!). 

"Beat & Release": Driver From Sinop Refuses Breath-o-meter Test and Walks Away, in Bursa

türkçe links to original Turkish article

(Hürriyet Newspaper, 12 February 2025)

Şuayip bey walking away under the influence of alcohol.

In Bursa, police had a suspicion about the driver of a car with

license plate 57 AC 414 (57 - registered in Sinop province) so

they pulled him over. Sure enough, driver Şuayip G. (48) 

admitted that he was driving under the influence of alcohol.

However (!), Şuayip bey refused to take the breath-o-meter 

test so he was fined 26,550 TL (about $736) and his license

was suspended for two years.  In response, Şuayip bey took

his suitcase out of the car's trunk and walked away (!). His

car was towed away and impounded.