Appliance Science Builds Batmobiles

batmobile links to original article

(Hurriyet Newspaper, 3 December 2012)

//ed. note: only appropriate in a country where
the mayor of Batman city sued the makers of
the Batman movies for copyright infringement.//

Batman stalks Mt. Ararat

Body-shop expert Ismail Ilhan (42), of Agri,
inspired by the film "Batman", has built two
automobiles, one of which has wings, out of
a washing machine, refrigerator, table, chair
and the iron sheeting from ironing boards.

Ismail, who has been working in his field for
15 years, built the cars at his workshop in
Dogubeyazit Dstrict Industrial City in six
months with help from his brother Omer. The
cars can do 100 kilometers per hour and their
black color and styling catch peoples' attention.

Ismail has given the cars the names "Firtina"
(Storm) and "Yarasa" (Bat). He has received
permission from the District Chief's Office
and the Security Directorate to conduct test
drives.

Agri and Mt. Ararat way over on the right.

Devilish Homer Simpson Draws Fine

homer links to original article

(Hurriyet Newspaper, 3 December 2012)

Devil's Advocate

"The Simpson's", shown here on CNBC-E channel,
portrayed God in the service of the devil and the
channel has been fined 52,951 TL as a result. A
report by the Senior Council for Radio and TV
(RTUK) cited the reason for the fine as "making
fun of God, inciting youth to violence with the
message that murder was God's will, and encouraging
the use of alcohol under the pretext that one must
start the new year with alcohol."

The expert's report on the matter was summarized
as follows: "one of the cartoon characters (Homer)
provoked another (Flanders) to murder and violence
by manipulating his (Flanders') religious beliefs;
making remarks to the effect that there is no God;
scenes where the Bible is burned; showing God and
Satan is bodily form; God being at the service of
the devil and even offering him coffee. The broadcast
continued with images and remarks that ridiculed
beliefs. During the program the premise was made
that Christmas is a good time to drink alcohol and
the program encouraged this."

Doomsday Update: Jesus and 60,000

doom links to original article

(Vatan Newspaper, 30 November 2012)

caption: the real catastrophe will be its effect on Sirince.

The entire world is awaiting 21 December 2012, which is
believed to be the final day of the Mayan calendar.
According to the belief, the planet Marduk will hit the
Earth on that date and only two places will not be
affected - Bugarach village in France and Sirince village
in Selcuk, Izmir.

And in fact, according to the prediction, Jesus will come to
Sirince on 21 December so that's why thousands of people
from around the world are expected to flock to Sirince then,
as well. All hotel rooms are booked and camp sites have
been set up in the forests. Around 60,000 people are
expected in the village, located six kilometers from Selcuk,
whose population is 687.

Consequently, officials have sounded the alarm. The
Interior Ministry sent a notice to all units in Selcuk district
to make preparations so that no untoward incidents occur.
A military official from the Selcuk Gendarmerie Command
confirmed that the notice had come and that the regiment's
commander and assistant are making inspections in the
area. He told Vatan that "we started about a month ago.
Traffic and security teams have been doubled and tripled.
There's a mobilization. We've requested help from surrounding
districts. There's an intense preparation underway. Commanders
are checking things out, places are being set up for tents and
campers. Our careful work is ongoing in anticipation of a
great crowd coming."

Selcuk District Chief Ayhan Boyaci and Mayor Vefa Ulgur
echoed these words, with Ulgur adding that "this will be one
of the region's strangest but biggest events. I'm not sure our
infrastructure can handle it but we're stocking up on food and
water. We're coordinating with all other units and with the
telephone companies to ensure there aren't any communications
problems. There's a need for extra mobile base stations in
Sirince and road traffic will be routed one way. There's no
need to close the schools, though."

Tables Turned on Turk in Ukraine

whoops links to original article and video

(Hurriyet Newspaper, 29 November 2012)

//ed. note: make sure to check out the video by clicking
on 'whoops' above//

A group of young fellows who aim to stop sex tourism
to Ukraine and call themselves by the name 'Defacto'
claim to have captured an unnamed Turkish 'John' as
their latest victim.

The Turk summoned what he thought was a call girl
to his hotel room but was surprised by the youths, who
roughed up the Turk, put a mask on his face, bound him
and paraded him on one of Kiev's busiest avenues
wearing a sign that read 'Stop Sex Tourism'.

Walking (if  reluctant) billboard.

 

 

Wife-slasher Now Women's Rights Champ

champ links to original article

(Sabah Newspaper, 28 November 2012)

Does a 180 on women's rights

In Usak, Tahsin Kucuksimavi stabbed his wife
of 37 years while he was drunk five years ago
but now he's become a champion of women's rights.

The 67 year-old Kucuksimavi, who is a farmer in
the village of Sukraniye, went home drunk five
years ago and his wife Munevver, sick and tired
of Tahsin's drunkenness, screamed 'why are you
drinking?!', which set off an argument between
the two. In his drunken state Tahsin lost control
and stabbed his 37-year wife a number of times.

Tahsin was tried for simple assault in Usak's 1st
Petty Crimes Court and was given a jail term that
was later converted to a 700 TL fine.

But now Tahsin was at the head of the line for the
'Say No to Violence Against Women' event held
in conjuction with the '25 November International
Struggle and Solidarity Day for the Fight Against
Violence Toward Women.'  Tahsin chanted slogans
with the others and said that 'I was very sorry after
I stabbed my wife. She's the mother of my four
children. If she had died what would I have done?
These days whenever I see a protest against violence
toward women I join in right away.'

Ancient Elephant Rises Anew

elephant links to original article

(Hurriyet Newspaper, 27 November 2012)

Walking tall once again.

At the museum in Kahramanmaras, a special
construction technique has been used to raise
the skeleton of a  Great Asian Elephant whose
bones were found in the Gavur Lake Swamp
and date to 1400 B.C. The missing bones were
added in and no damage done to the existing ones
during the construction.

The most striking elements found in the display
room of the Kahramanmaras Museum are two
elephants, the smaller of which is displayed as
it was found, in a glass case. The larger one, though,
is being displayed upright, after the work done by
the expert restorers of the Culture and Tourism
Ministry.

In raising the Great Asian Elephant, known in Latin
as 'Elephas Maximus Asurus', a 'first' in Turkey
was achieved. The expert restorers, advised by
specialists from MTA (Maden Tetkik Arama-
Mine Investigation and Discovery) and the Italian
Paleontology Institute, completed an elephant's
skeleton with bones that are not its own. The
original bones were restored without damage
and the entire skeleton raised with the special
construction system.

Do As I Say, Not As I Do

gotca links to original article

(Sabah Newspaper, 26 November 2012)

Know any good lawyer jokes?

The head of the Istanbul Bar Association, Umit
Kocasakal, was stopped by traffic police for using
a 'signal beacon' - the name given to the flashing
lights used by emergency vehicles, as designated
by the Interior Ministry - on his car. In accordance
with "Paragraph 71 of  the Traffic Law" he was
fined 72 TL.

Traffic police were conducting checks at the entrance
to the Bosphorus Bridge on 22 November when they
stopped a vehicle using a 'signal beacon' at 1230 hours.
The police saw that the car belonged to Bar Association
chief Kocasakal and determined that Kocasakal was
using it as he rode in the 'security shoulder lane.' He
was fined 72 TL and advised to remove the lamp within
on week or else the car would be impounded.

(A sheepish) Kocasal, when reached by Sabah, stated
that "I don't want to make a comment. Even if I do it
won't do any good."

Traffic police have caught 106 people doing the same
thing over the past five days and fined them each 72 TL.
Among those fined were businessmen, city workers and
four of Istanbul's university deans. The apparatus can
easily be purchased for between 50 and 100 TL.