Parliamentarian's Burden Lifted

burdens links to original article

(Sukru Kizilot, Hurriyet Newspaper, 7 July 2013)

People vs. Parliamentarians. Same the world over.

While I was having tea with the tax office director in his
office, an agitated person with a tax notice came in
without even saying hello and began talking:

"Mr. Director, I'm a parliamentarian, what's with this
tax notice? We have immunity, can a penalty be assessed
to a parliamentarian?"

The Director looked at the tax notice and said calmly "Sir,
this is a different issue, there's no connection with
parliamentarian immunity. This penalty has to do with your
construction company."

"Mr. Director, can such a thing happen? Why don't you
take a good look at the tax laws. I'm sure there's a paragraph
that prevents parliamentarians from being penalized."

"Dear Parliamentarian, there is such a paragraph in the tax
law, paragraph 373, that refers to 'compelling circumstances.'"

"OK brother, put my situation into the 'compelling circumstances'
exemption and lift the penalty."

"Sir this is impossible. The 'compelling circumstances' are spelled
out one by one in the law. For example, serious illness, a serious
accident, imprisonment, earthquake, flood, loss of records. Also,
special situations that occur out of the control of a person, such as
an airplane hijacking or  martial law, are covered by the 'compelling
circumstances' exemption. Your being elected as a parliamentarian
is not one of these."

"Give me the law, let me take a look!".  The parliamentarian then
read the paragraph carefully but couldn't find a section that he liked.
Toward the end of the paragraph, though, he found a sentence that made
his eyes glow: 'situations like these'.  "Look here, my situation falls
into this category, 'situations like these.' So lift the penalty."

"Sir, we can't make such a judgment but the best thing for you to do
is to get an administration ruling from the Finance Ministry that says
that being elected as a parliamentarian falls into the 'situations like these'
category. Then we'll lift the penalty."

So what happened next? As you guessed, the parliamentarian got the
requisite ruling and his penalty was lifted. For those of you who don't
believe this or are curious, you can find the ruling on page 1744 of the
second volume of my book 'Council of State Decisions and Rulings
Regarding Conflicts'.

Surprises: While Enjoying the View; While Picnicking

view links to original article

(Sabah Newspaper, 7 July 2013)

Car with a mind of its own.

In Mugla, a couple who left their 10-month old baby
in the car while they enjoyed the magnificent view of
the Gulf of Gokova, returned to find the car and child gone.
The couple explained to police that "someone stole our car
with our baby inside!" The child was saved when a
15 year-old boy noticed that the car was stuck among
trees at the cliff's edge.

Hakan and Saadet Sahip, who live in Germany, had come
to Turkey for a vacation by car. En route to Marmaris, they
came upon the Gulf of  Gokova and pulled off to the side
of the road to enjoy the view. They left their 10-month old
son Selim Han in the car while they and their other son
Kayhan Veysel headed down to the viewing terrace.

However, in his haste Hakan Sahip had forgotten to put
on the emergency brake and when they returned to find
the car gone they panicked and called police. Units in the
area were alerted to the make and model of the car.

About this time, 15-year old Serkan Ozturk, who was serving
tea with his father at the viewing terrace, heard a baby crying
from the cliffside. Ozturk found the child and brought him to
the terrace, where citizens called the police. When the Sahip
couple, who were making a statement to police in Mugla,
got news of their son's recovery they burst into tears.

Views are great, but take all the kids with you.

 

 

===========================================================

 

picnic links to original article

(Sabah Newspaper, 7 July 2013)

Safe found in an unsafe place.

In Konya's Selcuk district, shop owner Musa Gorgulu
brought his car to a repair shop but later learned that
someone had broken into the car and stolen it, along with
the safe that was inside. Police subsequently found the car
abandoned.

Security camera video footage from the underpass of the
train tracks was then reviewed by police who noticed three
people with their faces covered acting as if they were
handicapped in the video. Police suspected that Ridvan Y. (18),
Hasan A. (18), M.E. (17) and M. O. (17), who all have records
and work at a local carwash, may have been involved in the
incident.

Police tracked the four suspects and found them having a picnic
in Karaaslan Hadimi Park. The stolen money was taped to their
bodies. The safe was found in a canal and the suspects exclaimed
that "we never thought this much money would be in the safe."
  

Selcuklu near Konya city.

  

Dead Man Walking

ruse links to related article

(Posta Newspaper, 5 July 2013)

Drowned in Malatya, found in Istanbul

Mens clothes and a cellphone were found the day
before yesterday on the shore of Karakaya Dam
Lake in Battalgazi, Malatya. Police determined that
the phone belonged to Mustafa Akar (42), about whom
a missing persons report was filed on Sunday.

Thinking that Akar had drowned while swimming
in the lake, search efforts were conducted there but
no traces of Akar were found. Police then checked
MOBESE and security camera video records and
determined that Akar was alive and had gone to
Istanbul.

Akar was found in the home of a relative in Fatih,
Istanbul. It is alleged that Akar is deeply in debt
and was trying to convince his creditors that he had
died.

Malatya

No Prescription? No Problem

dope links to original article

(Sabah Newspaper, 4 July 2013)

Hmmm, where's Turkey anyway...

A final thesis produced by two students
in the Ankara Hacettepe University Sports
Knowledge and Technology Graduate
School has resulted in a remarkable
conclusion, especially in light of the doping
scandals that have rocked Turkish sports lately.

The two students were able to obtain the medicine
EPO, which is considered a doping agent and not
sold without a prescription, from 127 of the 150
pharmacies they went to, without any prescription.

Student Kevser Ciftci decided to do her thesis on
this topic when news broke last year that prior to
the London Olympics Alex Schwazer of the Italian
team, who was identified as a doper, had obtained
EPO in Antalya.

Ciftci explained her findings as follows: "we went
to 150 pharmacies in Cankaya, Yenimahalle and
Kecioren (all in Ankara) and said we wanted to buy
EPO. Without asking for a prescription, 127 pharmacies
said they could provide us with EPO. Some of the
pharmacies asked us whether we were athletes, indicating
to us that they knew this medicine is used in sports.
Normally EPO is used to treat kidney and anemia and
can have serious side effects."

Kevser's dopey thesis.

Freak Freckle Foils Fugitive

freckle links to original article

(Hurriyet Newspaper, 3 July 2013)

Captured at half past a freckle.

Kazakh businessman Dauren Tulebayev has been sought
by Interpol for two years for his membership in an
organized crime group. Tulebayev has been captured in
Istanbul but said "I'm not the person you're looking for."

Tulebayev was the subject of a manhunt for his role in
defrauding the Kazakh government of 1 billion dollars.
Police in Istanbul were able to identify him by the
distinctive freckle on his face.

A person calling the Kazakh Consulate in Istanbul informed
that Tulebayev (35) and his family were en route to a shopping
center in Bayrampasa, Istanbul, via a private minibus. The
Consulate officials notified Istanbul police at 1430 hours on
30 June. At first, police couldn't locateTulebayev but by checking
surveillance video they determined that Tulebayev had left the
shopping center in the same minibus.

Police next located the minibus in Bayrampasa and a panicked
Tulebayev ran off but was captured after a 15 minute chase.
He had a fake Kyrgyz passport in the name of Alizhanov Erlan
when he was taken to the police station along with his wife and
three children. Tulebayev insisted he was Erlan but his tell-tale
freckle gave him away. Interpol in France was notified of his
capture and extradition formalities were started.

Cage-Man Fights Smoking Habit

cage links to related article

(Hurriyet Newspaper, 2 July 2013)

What's up with the cast?

In Kutahya, Ibrahim Yucel (42) has been smoking
for 26 years but in order to quit he took a novel
approach. Yucel, who works as a technician in a
municipal organization and who smokes two packs
of cigarettes per day, was inspired by a motorcycle
helmet when he made a cage from copper wire that
he puts over his head.

Yucel says that thanks to the two locks on the cage
he was able to resist smoking for two days. When he
leaves home he gives the cage keys to his wife and
daughter.

Kutahya, where addiction is the mother of invention.

Kidney Clearance Sale in Çorum

kidneys links to original article

(Hürriyet Newspaper, 30 June 2013)

Mecitözü Çayköy: Anyone wanna buy a kidney?

Ş.T. filed a complaint with the Ankara Police's Anti-
Smuggling Directorate, sayıng that "they wanted to
get my kidney for 15,000 TL. At first I agreed but then
I changed my mind and was threatened." A special team
then put the gang members under technical surveillance.

Following a nearly six-month effort, the police struck
and took the village chief of Çorum Mecitözü Çayköy,
H.S., complainant Ş.T., M.B., S.G. and Mümin Şener,
who arranged connections with hospitals, into custody.
The alleged leader of the gang, Tuncay D., vanished.
All of the suspects were released pending trial, except
for Sener, who was arrested.

According to interrogations and files, village chief H.S.
sold one of his kidneys and then maintained a connection
with the organ mafia. H.S. got in touch with villagers who
had a debt problem and told them "I sold one of my kidneys
and I'm quite healthy. A person can live comfortably with
one kidney."  The villagers he convinced were put in touch
with gang members and were given fake ID's that purported
to show that they were related to potential kidney recipients.

The donor villagers were taught all the personal details of
the recipients so that when they went to get an Ethics
Council report they would be able to claim that they were
related to the recipients.  Hürriyet phoned two villagers who
allegedly sold their kidneys. One of them, H.D., asserted that
he had not sold his kidney but that "suppose I did? What's it
to you? It's mine isn't it? I gave my kidney to a relative."
Another, A.Ş., said that he gave his kidney to someone who
needed it, in the name of humanity.

In six months seven villagers in Çayköy and nearby areas
sold their kidneys for 15,000 TL each. The gang members,
on the other hand, get between 30,000 and 50,000 TL from the
recipients. As for village chief H.S., he told police that he
didn't pressure anyone into selling their kidneys: "I gave
my kidney to save a life. I didn't get any money. I just did
a good deed. I didn't pressure the villagers. I just advised them."

Çorum, where kidneys are kidnapped.