Driverless Metro Train Bypasses Five Stations, in Istanbul

türkçe links to original Turkish article

(Hürriyet Newspaper, 16 November 2024)

driverless disasters click to see just how bad it can get.

                              Not the tunnel of love.

A driverless metro train left the Üsküdar station en route to

Samandıra but after passengers disembarked at the Bulgurlu

station the train passed by the Ümraniye, Çarşı, Yamanevler,

Çakmak and İhlamurkuyu stations without stopping (!).

Passengers alarmed by the train missing their stops pressed

the emergency button but to no avail.  Finally, the train came

to a halt near (but not at) the Altınşehir station.  Passengers

found a way to get off the train and walked along the tracks 

in the tunnel (!) to the Altınşehir station.

On one of the videos taken by the stranded passengers, 

someone alerts the others, saying "Hurry up and get off!

There's a train coming from behind!"

Oh yeah, sometimes there's an unscheduled express.

"Eat & Release": When Fishing Season Opens, Thief Trawls Fish Store, in Küçükçekmece

türkçe links to original Turkish article

(Hürriyet Newspaper, 15 November 2024)

                           Hmmm something's fishy...

At the Yılmaz Balıkçı fish store on the shore road of Küçükçekmece

in Istanbul, Uğur Yaşar (32) sells and grills fish.  Last week on Monday 

a thief entered the store with an iron bar, broke open a freezer and made

off with 20 "palamut" ((bonito, short-finned tunny)) worth 150 TL each,

along with stealing some corn flour.  But considering the damage to be

insignificant, Yaşar did not file a police complaint. 

However (!), on 11 November the fish thief returned and staked out

the store at about 1 o'clock in the morning.  When he discerned that

no one was around the thief entered the store and stole some cargo

packages, two pairs of shoes belonging to the fishmongers, five five-

kilogram cans of oil, and 10 kilograms of corn flour.  Before fleeing, 

the thief tried again to get into the fish freezer but failed.  Instead, he 

took a laptop computer and mouse.

In the morning, seeing that he had been victimized again by the thief,

Yaşar went to the police with store security camera footage.  Yaşar

said that he has been running this fish store for 15 years.  He lamented

that "the last time the thief came he took salmon.  Before that he took

sea bass and turbot.  When the fishing season starts he comes regularly

and robs the store like it's his routine.  This time he made a big mess of

the store so I filed a complaint."

"Beat & Release": Three Iranian Brothers' Stock Market Losses Prompted Collective Suicide, in Antalya

türkçe links to original Turkish article

(Hürriyet Newspaper, 14 November 2024) 

                              They cashed in their chips.

Three Iranian brothers who came to Antalya some time ago, 

rented a furnished flat in Güzeloba neighborhood of Muratpaşa

district.  When the brothers' family in Iran could not reach

them for 15 days they contacted Iranian Emrullah Esedi in

Antalya.

Esedi went to the brothers' rented flat with the police and

entered with the owner's key, only to find the dead bodies of

Mohammed Reza Yasovalian (44), Mohsen Yasovalian (36) 

and Anmirhossein Yasovalian (33).  Police found a 9-page

note in Farsi relating that the three brothers had lost a large

amount of money playing the stock market and decided to

commit suicide together.  

1929 New York stock market crash precedent...

The doors and windows inside the house had been taped

to prevent air from entering and the smoke from a coal

fire the brothers lit suffocated all of them. 

"Beat & Release": Scimitar-wielding Attacker Chased Away by Mop-wielding Defender, in Istanbul

türkçe links to original Turkish article

(Hürriyet Newspaper, 13 November 2024)

                                    Mop bests scimitar!

In Beyoğlu, Istanbul, Iranian Soohasadat Mojsenalhosseini (27)

paid six months rent about a month ago to open a restaurant. A

while later the building's owners filed a complaint about their

renter in some relation to an insult of a woman.  

Mojsenalhosseini was sent to an immigration center for 

deportation but he was released a month later on judicial 

supervision.  Meanwhile, the owners wanted him to vacate

th restaurant site. 

Erkan E. (50), one of the brothers who own the building, 

raided the restaurant at about 2130 hours the night before

last and attacked Mojsenalhosseini and his workers with a

scimitar (!).  (Somehow) no one was injured but Erkan E.

caused some damage to the restaurant's furnishings. A 

worker brandishing a mop (!) succeeded in chasing Erkan E.

from the premises.  

Erkan E. was arrested by police and Mojsenalhosseini was

sent back to the immigration holding center. 

"Beat & Release": Guard Who Shot Drunken Rowdy at Metro Station is Himself Arrested (!), in Istanbul

türkçe links to original Turkish article

(Hürriyet Newspaper, 12 November 2024)

Guard M.T.'s lament: "No good deed goes unpunished".

The evening before last at about 1930 hours at the Bostancı 

Marmaray station drunken A.A. was pestering others so 

security guard M.T. (41) warned him to behave himself.  This

prompted A.A. to attack M.T., who then shot AA. in the leg. 

Medics arrived to take A.A. to a hospital for treatment.

M.T.'s back-up was off duty at the time. 

Police checked their records and found that A.A. had been 

arrested before for "breaking and entering".  As for M.T.

he was arraigned in court for "intentional wounding" (!)

but released on judicial supervision. 

"Time-release Conspiracy Theory": Donald, Baron and John Trump Together in a Wacky Time Warp

türkçe links to original Turkish article

(Hürriyet Newspaper, 10 November 2024)

Trump voters head to the polls click here for post-

election analysis from "The Time Machine".

A conspiracy theory making the rounds after Donald Trump's

recent election victory describes Trump's son Baron as a time 

traveler (!).  A children's book written in the 19th century by 

Ingersoll Lockwood, an American jurist and author, is being 

likened to the story of Trump's return to power.  

The book's hero is a young and rich aristocrat who lives in 

"Trump Fortress".  This hero has a son named "Little Baron 

Trump" who has a fantastic imagination that prompts him to 

disdain his life of luxury. In Lockwood's first book, Trump-the-

younger finds a secret gate for time travel that takes him to 

Russia (!) for life-changing adventures.  All of the events in the 

book take place in Russia. 

Four years after the first book, Lockwood wrote another

related book that was published in 1896 and entitled "The

Last President".  The book's story centers on a rich man who

lives on 5th Avenue in New York City, where today's Trump

Tower is located, and who runs for president although no one

gives him any chance of winning. 

The conspiracy theory has a connection to scientist Nikola 

Tesla who died in 1943.  It has been claimed that Tesla invented

a time machine for time travel and that an engineer named John

G. Trump,  Donald Trump's grandfather (actually Donald Trump's

uncle), a member of the National Defense Research Committee,

investigated Tesla's work on the time machine.  After going through 

Tesla's notes, though, John G. Trump came up with no result - or as 

the conspiracy theory asserts, kept the secret of the time machine 

to himself. 

"Beat & Release": Wife's Late-Night Vacuuming Drives Hubby to Divorce Court, in Istanbul

türkçe links to original Turkish article

(Hürriyet Newspaper, 9 November 2024)

       Feyza hanım shows no mercy.

In Istanbul, technician Emnre E. (33) married interior decorator

Feyza K.E. (29) in 2022 but nine months later Emre bey filed

for divorce citing his wife's late-night vacuuming (!) and fast

driving, prompted by her jealousy.  In addition, in his suit Emre

bey asked for 200,000 TL for emotional distress and 300,000TL

for material compensation. 

In his petition Emre bey stated that "In the third week of our

marriage our downstairs neighbors asked that my wife not run

the vacuum cleaner at night because of their newborn baby. 

Nevertheless, the defendant continued to vacuum late at night.

My wife retorted 'you only think about others, not me!'  When

she noticed a woman near us jealousy prompted her to drive

at high speeds, putting both of our lives in danger." (!)

For her part, Feyza hanım said that Emre bey's assertions were

baseless and she asked for 1 million TL in reparations.  Her

lawyer Ümit Erdoğan told the court that Feyza hanım loves her

husband and does not want a divorce.  The suit has been locked

in a stalemate since September 2023 and a decision did not

emerge from the third hearing. 

                           "It's either football or me!"