Politics: Apple Polishing, Banana Republics

türkçe links to original Turkish article

(HaberTürk Newspaper, 25 January 2016)


 
 An apple a day keeps parliamentarians awake.

While there is a lot of tension in the Parliament and its
commissions because of the incidents in the east and
southeast of the country, quite a different matter has
taken hold backstage.

Bülent Turan, head of the AK Party Group, received a
package of apples from the Çanakkale Provincial Agriculture
Directorate while he was away from Ankara.  Turan, who is
representing Çanakkale this term, directed that the apples be
distributed to his parliamentary colleagues.


The important business of the government must proceed...

To ensure that his colleagues knew where the apples were
coming from, Turan instructed his staff to include his business
card and that of his fellow AK Party Çanakkale representative
Ayhan Gider.

What Turan didn't know was that each of his parliamentary
colleagues received just one apple, prompting them to respond
with remarks like "you can't win hearts with half an apple;
what are we supposed to do with this apple? Send it home?;
and, it's gone in one gulp."

Turan was confused by the messages but got the idea when
AK Party representative Necdet Ünüvar sent everyone a picture
of the lonesome apple and the two business cards. Turan quickly
asked for more apples from Çanakkale and when they arrived he
sent a case of apples to each of his colleagues. This time Ünüvar
sent another picture of the case of apples and the two business
cards with the message "Çanakkale apples...from where to where
in a month."


                      Çanakkale province

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//ed. note: Turkish internet version unavailable.//

(Sözcü Newspaper, 25 January 2016)


Lots of kilometers make good neighbors.

The AK Party government, which set out to have zero problems
with our neighbors, has put Turkey into a situation where all of
our nearby neighbors are at odds with us.  So the government has
found the solution by making friends with countries thousands
of kilometers away.

The newest address for this 'international opening' is the island
nation of Mauritius, way down in the depths of the Indian Ocean.
The Mauritius Republic is 7,450 kilometers away from Turkey and
has a population of 1.5 million.

Another of the latest bilateral agreements has been reached with
the Caribbean island nation of Saint Vincent and the Grenadines,
which is 10,000 kilometers from Turkey, with a population of
about 200,000.

The government has also signed agreements with Zimbabwe, 13,000
kilometers (sic) away, Ecuador, 12,000 kilometers away and
Surinam, 9,843 kilometers distant from Turkey.


         Looking for love in far away places.




 

 

Mosques: Miracle Rescue, Wrong Way Kıble

türkçe links to original Turkish article

(HaberTürk Newspaper, 24 January 2016)


              Spiderman? No, stranded man.

A scaffold collapsed inside a mosque construction site
on the campus of Uşak University. Five workers were
injured in the accident and one was miraculously saved.

The scaffold on which the workers were standing while
they installed acustic panelling on the mosque's dome
collapsed all of a sudden.  Together with the scaffold's
iron skeleton, Ahmet Üstün, Orhan Tezgel, Şenol Zorlu,
Ahmet Yaya and Hasan İspir fell to the ground.


                      Stairway to heaven.

While the injured were taken to a hospital, Hüseyin Tetik (35)
was trapped in the lattice that had been set in place on the
dome.  Tetik had to wait for 4 hours in the ceiling of the
unfinished mosque before firefighters and AFAD (rescue)
teams were able to reach him with a large crane.


                             Uşak province

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türkçe links to original Turkish article

(HaberTürk Newspaper, 21 January 2015)


  Right-way ribbon provides an elegant solution.


In the Meydan neighborhood of Kütahya, residents noticed that
their mosque's 'kıble' wall (facing Mecca) was wrong so they first
informed the mosque official and then the provicial religious
authority.  Based on an investigation begun by Müftü Hacı Yusuf
Gül, it was determined that the  mosque's congregation has been
praying in the wrong direction for 60 years (!).




Nevertheless, Gül stated that the direction of the kıble was no
obstacle to proper prayers.  After the kıble was straightened out
Gül declared that "after we learned that the kıble direction of the
Kakaç Mosque was wrong we measured it. I myself saw that the
angle was 69 degrees but I told the congregation that this presented
no obstacle to praying."

"We said that if it was possible to correct the angle we would.
Tearing down the mosque or the kıble wall would have presented
great difficulties.  We decided it would be best to lay a ribbon to
show the correct kıble angle.  Now prayers are being said in the
proper direction."

Internet Edition: Global Village, Road Worrier

türkçe links to original Turkish article

(HaberTürk Newspaper, 23 January 2016)


            Little village has a big brother.

Thanks to cameras placed all throughout Çardak village of
Nevşehir city, the entire world can follow the happenings in
the village via the internet. Adem Özer, the village chief of Çardak,
(population 2,100) who has put cameras all around the village,
explained that "we've put 16 cameras in the coffee houses, my
office, in the village square and elsewhere."


          You can go home again...just click.

Chief Özer went on to say that "those who have left the village
can see their fathers, siblings relatives any time they want to via
the internet. There are Çardak'ers living in Europe who can now
'visit' the village at their pleasure. The system has also lowered
the incidence of robberies in the village and we've put signs up
that say 'this village is monitored with cameras 24 hours a day.'"



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türkçe links to original Turkish article

(Hürriyet Newspaper, 23 January 2016)


                 Fasten your seatbelts!

The internet site dangerousroads.com, which ranks the world's
most threatening roads, had declared route D915 in Bayburt to
be the most risky on the planet.  There are 29 sharp turns along the
106-kilometer road and no barriers to prevent drivers from falling
off the cliffs.


Well, nice view anyway...(if you live to talk about it).

According to the website, "words and photographs are insufficient
to describe just how dangerous this road is." The road was built in
1916 by the Russians (then occupying the Bayburt region during the
First World War). After D915, the next most dangerous roads are
in India and New Zealand.


                      Bayburt province.











 

 ,

Men Behaving Badly Edition

türkçe links to original Turkish article

(Hürriyet Newspaper, 22 January 2016)


"Oh, by the way, I'll be out of town for a while..."

A woman in England named Karen Ulusoy (51) says that her
Turkish husband Evren Ulusoy (40) told her he was going to
the USA for a three-week vacation five years ago but he never
came back.

According to a report in the Sun Newspaper, Karen, the mother
of four children, met Evren when he came to England on a
student visa and they married in 2005.  Karen explained that she
even paid for the cost of her husband's permanent visa to stay in
England.

Nevertheless, Karen lamented that "in 2011 he said he was going
to the USA for three weeks. He told me that it was a Turkish custom
for men to get some time away from their wives (!). I was naive and
stupid about it. I'm waiting for him to come back."

The newspaper tracked down Evren in Chicago.  He told the paper
that "I never promised her I'd come back (or a rose garden). I'll
start the divorce process right away."

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türkçe links to original Turkish article

(HaberTürk Newspaper, 22 January 2015)


                Coffee! - black, and lots of it. 

In Ankara, a drunk driver, Bilal Ö., was found passed out behind
the wheel of his running car on Akdeniz Avenue in front of Anıtkabir
(Atatürk's tomb).  Police arriving at the scene shook the car from
side to side but could not rouse Bilal.

At this point, firefighters came and broke the car's rear window
and took out Bilal (28) whose promil alcohol reading was 3.19.
Police took away Bilal's license, as this was the third time he
has been caught driving drunk.  After 5 years, if Bilal passes a
test after a Psycho-technical Evaluation and Driver Behavior
Development Training, then he can get his license back.

In addition, a case has been filed against Bilal for putting traffic
safety in jeopardy, which could result in a 6-year jail sentence.
According to police, promil values can change based on age, weight
and height. Experts said that Bilal's 3.19 promil rating resulted from
his drinking the equivalent of 1 liter of rakı.

The legal promil limit is 0.50 for a man aged 40 who weighs 70
kilograms. This would result from drinking two beers or 1 double
rakı or 2 glasses of wine or 1 double vodka.  Prof. Dr. Sefa Saygılı,
who noted that Bilal had drunk enough to put him in a coma, said
that "when a person passes 1.0 promil they're like a loose mine,
ready to explode."


Atatürk can be heard to rue "These kids today..."


  

Turk-Russia Plane Crisis Redux - Culprit Tangerines

türkçe links to original Turkish article

(HaberTürk Newspaper, 21 January 2016)


Yes, it's ridiculous but that's what humans are all about.

A second plane crisis has erupted with Russia but this time the
cause is tangerines (!).  The firm "Uçak Kardeşler", which has set
records for the export of fruits and vegetables, has for a long time
sent tons of tangerines to Russia with its brand name "uçak" (which
means "airplane" in Turkish) stuck on the fruit.

Although Russia has up to now bought tons of imports from the
Uçak firm, the brand "uçak" plastered on the tangerines is now
considered to convey a "hidden message", and to be "very telling,
degrading".


                       The plot sickens...

And so tons of the tangerines have been sent back to Turkey.
Some amount of the fruit has been gathered up by wholesalers
in Russia and destroyed.  The head of Uçak Kardeşler, Hayrettin
Uçak, explained that "as of 1 January, we're reluctant to send
anything to Russia other than what we have permission for.  We're
redirecting to other markets. For example, to Israel and some European
countries. We won't bow to Russia. We'll show them we don't need
them."

Uçak said that before the crisis (Turkey's shoot-down of a Russian
jet on the Turkey-Syria frontier) the firm did 300 million USD of
exporting per year but this has fallen by 40%. The amount of exports
to Russia is now 10% of what it was, with 90% now going to other
countries.


Tangerine War adversaries.