Crime and Punishment With a Twist

(Haberturk Newspaper, 26 January 2011)

The penalties connected with supervised release can sometimes
be funny and other time thought-provoking. The penalty given to
Ankara's C.Ç. is one of these. C.Ç. showed up late when reporting
for military duty and was listed as a deserter so he received a four
month jail sentence. The court, however, took note of C.Ç.'s 'good
behavior' and changed the sentence to supervised release. In this
light, upon his discharge from the army, C.Ç. was ordered not to
play his favorite game 'okey' with his friends at the tea house for
three months.

In the context of supervised release, wife-beaters, disturbers of
the peace, police insulters and the like are sentenced to attend a
ten-part anger-management seminar instead of serving jail time.
Social services expert Şerife Etleç of the Ankara Supervised
Release Directorate gave some examples of the supervised
release program, as follows:

-- B.Y. was beaten by her husband during an argument in
Sakarya and filed a complaint. The court ordered her husband
A.Y. to see a family therapist one day each week.

-- Ramazan U. punched his wife and was ordered by the court
to wear a sign reading 'I apologize to my wife' whenever he goes
to the tea house, the mosque, school or the market.

-- similarly, in Kastamonu, wife-beater Mustafa K. was told to
print 1,000 signs reading 'I apologize to my wife and all of Araç
district for beating my wife' and distribute the signs throughout
the district.

-- in Diyarbakır, H.Ç. had to bring his wife flowers for five months.

-- Z.B., who beat his 10 year-old daughter because she didn't do
her homework, was sentenced by the Midyat, Mardin, court to
plant saplings for five months. Z.B. was able to plant 500 saplings
in the course of serving his sentence.

Whoops! Snow Ambulance Stranded

(Haberturk Newspaper, 28 January 2011)

In Rize, a transport vehicle for snow ambulances costing 100,000
Euros has been found to be unuseable because, when the ambulance
is loaded on, the combined height exceeds the limit for tunnels and
overpasses.  The Health Ministry sent the snow ambulance to Rize
last year for use in emergency situations when roads are otherwise
impassable due to snowfall. But the ambulance can only operate on
snow and must be transported to the affected area by the transport
vehicle, whose height was apparently incorrectly calculated.

The transport vehicle has a height of 1 meter 40 centimeters and
together with the snow ambulance, which rises to a height of three
meters 30 centimeters, their combined height is 4 meters 70 centi-
meters. Both vehicles are now stranded in the garage in Rize since
the height of tunnels and overpasses is 4 meters 50 centimeters.

Rize Provincial Health Director Mustafa Tepe summarized the
situation, saying 'after the incident in Ovit the Ministry sent us the
snow ambulance and last year we were able to help 19 citizens
thanks to this ambulance. But the vehicle cannot traverse concrete
and dirt roads so we requested a transporter that would be low
to the ground. Nevertheless, although we reiterated this require-
ment a number of times they sent us a Mercedes transporter which
is too long and too high for the tunnels and overpasses.'

In his own defense, Rize Provincial Procurement Deputy Secretary
Salih Kurtuluş stated that they purchases the transporter based on
health officials' request. He added that 'the ambulance's height is
supposed to be 2 meters 90 centimeters and the transporter is
one meter 30 centimeters from the ground, making a total height
of 4 meters 20 centimeters. We wouldn't make such a mistake.'

Seeds of Distrust Sown in Village

(Haberturk Newspaper, 28 January 2011)

The headman of Akpınar village in Sungurlu district of Çorum
province, Cengiz Yetişoğlu, allegedly became angry when some
people began to sow seeds on his uncle's land without permission.
So Yetiloğlu went to the town's mosque, grabbed the microphone
and cursed out the offending trespassers, according to some
villagers.

Those within earshot informed the Gendarmerie, district chief
and the public prosecutor and filed a complaint against Yetişoğlu.
Rejecting the complaint, though, Yetişoğlu alleged that 'they're
trying to run me down. These slanders arise because of jealousy
in the village. Certain opportunists put forth baseless claims like
these, wanting to take the seal from my hands. Their biggest
concern is not me, it's the village seal.'

District chief Hulusi Şahin, however, stated that 'both my office
and the prosecutor's office have received complaints alleging
that such an incident took place in Akpınar village but the
interesting thing is that some people say 'the headman was
cursing from the mosque loudspeakers', whereas most people
say that 'no, our headman did no such thing.'  We are continuing
the investigation.'

Russian Lover, Criminal Cousins

(Hürriyet Newspaper, 27 January 2011)

Ali K. (28) returned to Turkey after working in Turkmenistan as
an accountant and then invited his Russian girlfriend Yelena I. to
come to his house in Adana. Yelena, however, didn't have any
money for such a trip so she asked Ali K. for 2,000 dollars.

Not having the money for Yelena, Ali K., who was on the verge
of divorcing his wife who lives in Fethiye, joined up with his cousin
Ismail K. (26) to rob an all-night pharmacy at 2 AM on 15 January.
The two wore ski masks and used a fake gun during the robbery,
taking away 6,000 Turkish Lira and four cellphones belonging to
the pharmacist and his employees.

Ali K. used a portion of the haul to pay for Yelena's trip but when
the rest of the money ran out the two cousins planned a second
caper. They hit a gas station and took 1,600 Turkish Lira from
the four attendants, who then informed the police. Ali K. and
Ismail K. were captured soon afterwards.

The two cousins confessed to the two robberies with Ali K. ex-
plaining to police that he had done it to pay for his Russian girl-
friend's trip to Turkey. While Ali K. expressed regret for his
actions, Ismail K. said that like his cousin he was about to
divorce his wife and just needed some money.

Beware of Seatmates Bearing Gifts

(Hürriyet Newspaper, 27 January 2011)

Kadir Aslan (37) boarded a bus in Malatya for a trip to his home-
town in Gaziantep. Sitting next to Aslan on the bus was Turan Öğüt
(56) who offered Aslan some sweets and nuts. After eating the
food Aslan fell asleep and didn't wake up when the bus stopped
in Adıyaman for a break.

The bus hostess, failing to revive Aslan, noticed that Öğüt was trying
to quietly slip away so she alerted the police. Now awake, Aslan
told police that 7,000 Turkish Lira had been stolen from his pocket.
Police then nabbed Öğüt who had the doctored sweets and the
stolen money on his person. Öğüt was arrested and taken to jail.

Triangle and Nine Kids

(Sözcü Newspaper, 25 January 2011)

Sonya Sağlam (28) of Silvan district of Diyarbakır province was
living with her husband Müfit Gür (37) and Gür's 'kuma' (spare
wife), Mülkiye Gür (25), when Sağlam was seriously injured by
coming in contact with a high-tension wire while cleaning their
house's roof seven months ago.

Only 16 days after giving birth to her fifth child, Semanur, Sağlam
found herself on life-support at the local hospital. Now, her
husband's 'kuma' is looking after Semanur, along with Sağlam's
four other children and four of her own, all fathered by Müfit Gür.

Ten years ago, Müfit Gür fell in love with Mülkiye and he and Sonya
asked Mülkiye's family to let Mülikye come and live with them. The
family refused so Müfit and Sonra kidnapped Mülkiye, who then
'married' Gür with Sonya at their side during the 'wedding'.

Elusive Treasure in Bursa

(Haberturk Newspaper, 26 January 2011)

Rumors about buried treasure in Inegöl district of Bursa province
lead a group to rent a backhoe and commence to dig. After two
days of excavating a 2.5 meter-deep, 12 meter-wide trench,
though, the treasure hunters have so far been left empty-handed.

Construction engineer Turgut Dede and his friends had heard
rumors about Greeks and Armenians, along with Greek soldiers,
having buried gold and jewelry as they abandoned the town of
Cerrah following the Turkish liberation of the Inegöl area in the
early 1920's.

Dede's group obtained the requisite permission from the local
district chief in order to start digging near a by-pass road the
day before yesterday. The Gendarmerie was on hand to observe
the activity, as well.  But despite paying 5,000 Turkish Lira to
rent the backhoe, none of the expected 100 to 300 kilograms of
treasure could be located.

Mad Cow on the Lam

(Sabah Newspaper, 25 January 2011)

A car driven by Ali Dilaver in Ulubey district of Ordu province
was involved in an accident in Eskipazpar village. Dilaver crashed
his car into a hazelnut orchard when, as he explained to the police,
'a cow came in front of my car and I lost control of it.' The police
then spent hours searching for the yellow cow that had allegedly
caused the accident. They checked for video from cameras of a
nearby hazelnut factory but it turned out that the cameras weren't
working.

The police learned from citizens in the area that they had seen a
person grazing his yellow cow. The person in question, Baki
Çiçek, was then brought by police from his home to the accident
scene. In his statement Çiçek said that 'my cow didn't cause the
accident. I was working in the garden at the time and the cow
was with me. When the accident occured the cow got spooked
and ran away. If it's proved that the cow caused the accident
I'm willing to take the penalty.' 

As of press time, the yellow cow was still being sought. Ali Dilaver
was slightly injured in the accident and was treated at the scene.

Devolution

(Haberturk Newspaper, 24 January 2011)

A teacher in Ankara who explained Darwin in response to a
student's question has received a 'warning'. The Ministry of
Education announced that Darwin and the 'Theory of Evolution'
are not in the curriculum and issued the warning because the
teacher had 'confused the students.'

Süleyman Biçer, a teacher at Mamak Trade Association
elementary school, was reprimanded after a 5th grade student
asked him 'did people come from monkeys?'. Biçer didn't want
to leave the student's question unanswered so he explained that
humans and other living things have experienced changes. That
evening the student related the incident to his parents, prompting
his mother to file a complaint with the district education authority.
The mother claimed that 'the teacher told the students that
humans came from monkeys and he read the Bible in class.'
The Mamak district education authority then started an investiga-
tion and took statements from nine of Biçer's 43 students. Three
students told investigators that Biçer had talked about Darwin.

In its report, the authority stated that Darwin and the Theory of
Evolution are not in the 5th grade curriculum, declaring that 'the
subject of Darwin is studied in the 8th grade under the heading
of Adaptation and Evolution and even there there is no mention
of Darwin's claim that humans came from monkeys. On page 48
of the guide for 8th grade teachers there is a stipulation that
there will be no discussion of various views about evolution.
Since teacher Süleyman Biçer explained Darwin and Evolution
to 5th graders he confused them and committed a crime.'

However, because there is no penalty in laws related to teachers
who teach something not in the curriculum, Biçer was initially
given a 'condemnation' but the penalty was downgraded to a
warning in view of Biçer's spotless record as a teacher.

71st Time's a Charm

(Haberturk Newspaper, 24 January 2011)

In Konya, the suspected murderer in a crime committed 12 days
ago, Halil Sonsoy, was arrested when police raided the 71st
address where they thought Sonsay may be hiding - his girlfriend's
home. Sonsoy had also killed his wife ten years ago in a fit of
jealousy but was released from prison after 2.5 years, based on
a report that declared that his 'mental state was not well.'

On 11 January, Halil Sonsoy fired six shots at Burhanettin Polat,
whom Zübeyde Baz (42), with whom Sonsoy lives in Selçuklu
district, said had been bothering her. Polat died at the scene and
Sonsoy escaped. In the ensuing operation to capture him police
raided 70 different addresses but without success.  Yesterday,
however, police grabbed Sonsoy in Meram district at the home
of his girlfriend.

Sex Dispels Spells

(Sabah Newspaper, 23 January 2011)

Mustafa Kılıç, who claims to be a medium, has been taken into
custody after a complaint by a customer who wanted to break
a priest's spell. A women named H.Ö. filed a complaint with the
Bakırköy public prosecutor, claiming that Kılıç had taken 8,000
Turkish Lira and 300 grams of 22 carat gold from her on the
pretext that he would break the spell.

When H.Ö. determined that the spell was still upon her she went
to Kılıç's office, whereupon Kılıç suggested that 'there's no need
for money. If you sleep with me seven times the spirits will come
and find you within 40 days. With the help of the spirits you'll
be freed from all your problems.'  H.Ö. claimed that Kılıç then
raped her. It has been determined that Kılıç has previously been
tried for fraud and fined.

CSI Istanbul: Tale of Tatoo and Injured Manhood

(Sabah Newspaper, 23 January 2011)

Gendarmerie teams have solved a murder thanks to a tatoo on the
body of the victim, who was killed five months ago in Kurtköy,
Istanbul.  Last August 19th the body of a woman was found by
villagers near Çataldağı forest. The woman had been strangled
and various portions of her face and body had been eaten by
animals so police could not determine a description nor get any
fingerprints. The only thing police had to go by was a tatoo on
her waist.

Along with the body, Gendarmerie found business cards from a
number of hotels in the Aksaray area so with a picture of the
woman's tatoo they began to canvass the hotels. The police
asked foreign women, in particular, whether or not they had
seen such a tatoo. After a long while, one woman said that she
had seen the tatoo on Georgian citizen Nekan Yusubova, who
had been missing for some time.

Gendarmerie then asked the Telecommunications Authority
for Yusubova's cellphone records and determined that the last
person Yusubova has spoken with was one Hüseyin Çiğdem.
Police then took Çiğdem, who has a long record, including
murder, assault, resisting arrest and counterfeiting, into custody.
Ciğdem claimed innocence in the murder of Yusubova but
police were able to make a DNA match between his sperm
and a remnant left on Yusubova.

Çiğdem then confessed and in his statement he said that he
had met Nekan Yusubova through a friend and had paid her
for sex a number of times. According to Çiğdem, on the day
of the murder Yusubova had insulted his manhood and he
killed her for this reason. Suspect Çiğdem was taken to jail.

Bluetooth Erasers Backfire

(Posta Newspaper, 22 January 2011)

In Kadıköy, Istanbul, Enver B. (45), who runs a drivers license
course, prepared a special copying device for candidates applying
for a license.  Enver B. and his gang inserted a Bluetooth (cableless
listening device) into the erasers brought into the licensing exam
by the candidates. After entering the exam hall, the candidates
kept their cellphones, which were linked to the Bluetooth, on 'silent'
and were able to hear the answers for the test given by Enver B.
and his gang members outside the hall via their erasers.

Enver B. was caught by police last 23 October as the result of
the police's own technical surveillance. The suspects' defense
was that 'we we're just helping them out.'  The day before
yesterday a criminal court case was opened against Enver B.
for 'counterfeiting an official document and slander', with a
potential jail sentence of nine years.  Two of his helpers and five
license candidates could get five years in jail.

You Gambled and You Lost

(Posta Newspaper, 22 January 2011)

Deniz Ü. (21), who has worked in a betting parlor in Bostancı,
Istanbul, for one and a half months, called police last Tuesday
crying 'I've been robbed!'  In his statement to the police Deniz
Ü. said that while working in the betting parlor with his friend
Murat G., two armed individuals entered the store and took off
with 800 Turkish Lira from the register. But when police looked
at the security camera video and found no evidence of a robbery
they became suspicious.  Deniz Ü. and Murat G. were then taken
into custody.

Deniz Ü. finally confessed under questioning and explained that
his enrollment at a university had been frozen because he hadn't
been able to pay the fees for his final year. Deniz Ü. continued,
saying 'I placed some bets with the money from the cash register
hoping I'd win but when I didn't there was 800 missing from the
register. That's when I came up with this robbery scenario.' The
owner of the betting parlor has not filed a complaint against
either Deniz Ü. or Murat G.

Note to Crooks: Vary Wardrobe

(Haberturk Newspaper, 21 January 2011)

Suspects wearing ski masks and brandishing a revolver and an
automatic MP5 rifle entered a gas station in Gürsü district of Bursa
province and took 700 Turkish Lira and phone cards before
absconding. The Bursa police then began to examine the video
from the gas station's security cameras. Since they couldn't see
the faces of the robbers, Bursa police started searching through
past suspects' photographs, looking at clothes and persons of
the same height, weight and age group.

When police noticed that a person named Ilker Paker, who had
been arrested for theft a year ago, had worn the same sweater
as one of the suspects in the gas station robbery they had their
man. Along with Paker, Hüseyin K., Murat U., Aykut T., Murat
S., and T.T. were arrested and could get up to 20 years in
prison.

Tell it to the Judge, But Be Polite

(Haberturk Newspaper, 21 January 2011)

In Rize, teacher Bilal Bekar went to the justice hall and made an
application to get his confiscated rifle back. During the hearing
Judge Murat Bilge asked Bekar to stand and not sit, which lead
to an argument between the two. The result was that the judge
filed a complaint against Bekar for insulting and threatening him.
The petty court then freed Bekar pending trial but when the public
prosecutor objected another Rize court ordered Bekar held in jail.

Meanwhile, in Antalya, Cemile E., who wants a divorce from her
husband, came to court drunk. Judge Bülent Sadırlı scolded the
woman for answering his questions merely by nodding her head.
Cemile E., however, took offense and cried out 'don't scream at
me! God damn you!'   The judge then had Cemile E.'s remarks
recorded and placed her in custody. Cemile E.'s blood alcohol
level was determined to be 3.2 promil. She claimed that she was
so upset about the divorce that she drank all night long. Ultimately,
Cemile E. apologized to the judge and she was freed pending
trial.

Spare Wife Advises Against It

(Haberturk Newspaper, 21 January 2011)

Gülten Istekli was working as an accountant in a computer firm
in Yenikapı, Istanbul, in 2002 when at 17 she fell in love with
Cemil Istekli, 25 years her elder.  Gülten followed Istekli to
Siverek district of Şanlıurfa province, where Istekli already had
a wife and eight children. Now, Gülten finds herself working in
a carrot field in Kırıkhan district of Hatay province as a seasonal
field hand for 15 Turkish Lira per day.  Once known as 'Turkey's
most famous kuma (spare wife)', Gülten advises women against
becoming a 'kuma'.

Cemil Istekli, however, criticized a university's research on the
'kuma' phenomenon, in which it was calculated that there are
187,000 'kuma' in Turkey. According to Istekli, 'If this research
had been done properly the number would have been over one
million.  Because women perceived as 'kuma' in the east are the
same as mistresses in the west.'  Referring to mistresses, Gülten
said that 'they don't get a man's name. At least we have a marriage
ceremony.' Cemil and Gülten Istekli refuted reports that they will
break up.

Wrong Delivery, Crooked Cops

(Sabah Newspaper, 20 January 2011)

Two Istanbul policemen, Nadir Y. and Hasan K., have been
arrested for having a role in letting drug baron Mahmut Çelik
arrange for someone else to serve his time in jail. In crime
terminology this is known as 'covering'.

Mahmut Çelik, who owned a number of jewelry stores in
various districts of Istanbul, was taken into custody in 1994
during a drug raid that also nabbed celebrities Fatih Ürek and
Kuşum Aydın. At the time, Çelik, who was not jailed during his
trial, was given a five-year sentence but he fled and disappeared
for nine years. At some point Çelik made an agreement with
someone to serve his sentence and somehow managed to
have an identity card issued with this man's photo and Çelik's
pertinent information on it.

Çelik's stand-in was then delivered to the public prosecutor
in Kumluca, Antalya, on 13 November 2003 by police
officers Nadir Y. and Hasan K.  The impersonator was jailed but
then freed a year later when the Turkish government ordered a
pardon for scores of prisoners. The scandal was exposed, however,
by an informer in 2009.  Çelik claimed that it was he who served
the jail time but a comparison between his own passport and
drivers license photos and those of  the stand-in in the criminal
laboratory proved otherwise.

The Kumluca court tried Çelik on charges of having someone else
serve his jail time and he was sentenced to 10 months in prison
on 8 September 2009. Çelik is also being tried in Istanbul for
countefeitting an official document and if convicted will get
another five years in jail.

Police officers Nadir Y. and Hasan K. were put under surveil-
lance as of 2007 and their work locations were changed. They
were subsequently photographed by the police with Çelik at
luxury bars and saunas.





 

Lady Crashes Tantuni Party

(Sabah Newspaper, 20 January 2011)

Nılgün Akyollar, who works at a company in Adana, left work
by car the evening before last in order to go home. However, at
19:00, when she reached the area near Kasım Gülek bridge on
Cevat Yurdakul Avenue, the car in front of her stopped short.
So as not to hit the car in front, Akyollar swerved but she lost
control of her car and crashed into the tantuni (wraps) restaurant
owned by Vedat Uzun, which was full of customers.

Fortunately, there were no patrons at the table near the front
window, although one customer's leg was injured. The workers
in the restaurant got out of the way as they saw Akyollar's
car heading for the store window but could still not believe
their eyes. One wag commented 'she parks well.'  Emergency
crews who arrived at the scene treated the injured customer
and tried to console the hysterical Akyollar who cried out
'they're dead, they're injured! What shall I do now?! God help
me!'
 

 

Google For Star Pickpocket Transfers

(Hürriyet Newspaper, 20 January 2011)

An operation by the Istanbul police resulted in the capture of
52 people, including 26 women and four children, members of
a pickpocket gang. The Istanbul police determined the names
and addresses of the gang members at 65 addresses in 15
provinces and launched the raid, the biggest in recent years.

During the subsequent interrogations police learned that 'star'
pickpockets had transferred to the gang from other pickpocket
groups. The transfers were even reflected on Google, where
a search using the words 'star thief' turned up pickpockets who
wanted to earn more money. The 'stars' invited potential
employers to use Google to look at news reports about
themselves and even included video clips.

Police said that the thieves used 'Gypsy language' in their
telephone conversations as a kind of code. According to
police, some of the gang members own gas stations and
apartments in luxurious neighborhoods.

Undercover Cop Gets a Dressing Down

(Hürriyet Newspaper, 20 January 2011)

The person wearing women's clothes who tried to rob a jewelry
store in Yunak district of Konya province turned out to be a
policeman. Dressed in baggy pants, an overcoat, headscarf and
sunglasses, the individual entered the store belonging to Gürsel
Yıldırımer (46) on Ataşehir Boulevard at 15:00 yesterday and,
flashing a knife at Yıldırımer, declared 'this is a robbery!'.

Thinking that the robber was a woman, Yıldırımer lunged at 'her'
but in the ensuing struggle the jeweler was injured, while the
panicked robber fled. Other store owners and nearby police
heard the commotion, though, and subdued the perpetrator
before 'she' could get away. When police took off the scarf
on the robber's head they were shocked to see that it was
fellow policeman A.O. (50), who has served on the Yunak
District Police Force for five years. A.O., said to be deep in
debt, was taken into custody.

Lamborghini's Long and Winding Road

(Hürriyet Newspaper, 19 January 2011)

Sabit Tüfekçi, the disabled 39 year-old Turk living in Denmark
who bought a Lamborghini automobile for his brother using
assistance money he had received from the municipality,
has become the target of the Danish media and Tüfekçi says
he is getting threats.

Tüfekçi claimed that certain individuals have created a con-
spiracy against him because they cannot bear that the firm
he started after getting a higher education to provide aid to
handicapped people has been so successful.

Following news reports about his alleged fraud, Tüfekçi
said that both he and members of his family have been subjected
to threats. He stated that 'the insults have gone as far as
depositing canine defecation on my mother's doorstep. They've
put our lives in danger.'

Continuing, Tüfekçi said  'We bought a used Lamborghini at a
good price to use in our publicity activities. There are lots of
firms that do this. I got the car, which is worth 800,000 kron
(about 215,000 Turkish Lira), for 440,000 kron. Two Danes
that I fired told some lies to the newspapers and then TV2
came to our office and filmed the car. My brother had brought
the car to show me that day since we wanted to buy it.'

Sabit Tüfekçi stated that although he is disabled he is not living
the high life on the municipality's generous assistance. He added
that he has set up a company and prefers to work for a living.
He believes that, if anything, he should be honored by the
municipality for his accomplishments.

Istanbul a Name to Fight Over

(Hürriyet Newspaper, 19 January 2011)

The Mayor of Istanbul, Kadir Topbaş, went to Athens yesterday
for a visit but when an announcement in Greek concerning his
visit was made the name 'Istanbul', rather than Constantinople,
was used twice. This set off a fight in the Athens City Council,
where racist-fascist member Nikos Mihaloliakos had declared
before Topbaş's visit that 'using Istanbul instead of Constantinople
in the announcement is unacceptable. The five percent of Athens
residents who voted for me cannot tolerate this.'

Mihaloliakos also said to Athens Mayor Yorgo Kaminis on the
subject of  immigrants in Athens 'Good night. The Pakistanis and
Bangladeshis you've made Greek citizens voted for you. See how
you've benefitted.' He then gave the Nazi salute and departed.

With regard to the use of  'Istanbul' in the announcement of
Topbaş's visit, Greek newspapers tied to the opposition stated
that this was tantamount to 'shooting the ball into our own goal.'

Catch Me, Please!

(Hürriyet and Post Newspapers, 19 January 2011)

In Denizli, jobless Murat Etiz (20) went into a market at 19:30
the evening before last, pointed his gun a market owner Yüksel
Dayıoğlu and stole three loaves of bread, two packages of
cigarettes, a bottle of ayran (milky yogurt), a two-liter bottle
of soda and a chocolate bar. While escaping, though, Etiz
told Dayıoğlu  'I'll pay for these things.'

Yesterday Etiz returned to the market and paid Dayıoğlu 20
Turkish Lira for the items he had stolen, saying 'I have a record.
Please don't turn me in.' Etiz's expression of regret failed to sway
Dayıoğlu, however, and Etiz was taken away to jail.

Meanwhile, in Muğla province's Milas district, a car carrying
four people who stole carpets from  mosques was flagged
down by the Gendarmerie at the town of Beçin. The car failed
to stop and passengers H.Ş. (41), Ş.T. (35), Ç.G.(34) and
Y.A. (42) made their getaway. The Gendarmerie, however,
determined that the rented car had a GPS system installed
and the Gendarmerie was able to pinpoint the car's location.
After a six-hour chase the suspects were arrested at Kurudere
village. The carpets the four had thrown from their car during
the chase were recovered by local residents and turned over
to the Gendarmerie.

Know Your Target

(Hürriyet Newspaper, 18 January 2011)

In Adana, Mehmet Ogün Güçlü (45) and his daughter Berrin (14)
went to a bank branch at about 1630 the day before yesterday
to pay his credit card bill. Afterwards, while getting in the car
Güçlü was accosted by Halil Kahya (21) who pointed a gun at
Güçlü and demanded money.

Güçlü explained to Kahya that he had come to the bank to deposit
money rather than withdraw it. A bewildered Kahya then pointed
the gun at Berrin, demanding money from her. At this point, Güçlü
got out of his car and began screaming for the police. Realizing
the game was up, Kahya tried to escape but was quickly captured
by plain-clothes police.

Slap-happy Coach Loses It

(Hürriyet Newspaper, 18 January 2011)

Trainer Nazir Işık brought a 12-person team of wrestlers from
Muş  to the wrestling championship for 13-14 year-olds held
in Erzincan and involving 300 athletes from 23 provinces. Işık
punched and beat  those of his wrestlers who lost their matches
in full view of all the spectators in the hall. During the 15 January
event, Işık screamed tactics to his athletes during their matches
and slapped them around if they lost.

Işık, who was not restrained by officials, first punched one of
his blue-uniformed wrestlers and scolded him. Next, he went
into the stands after another wrestler who was sitting there and
smacked him on the head a number of times. The boy could
barely hold his head up after the blows. Işık then punched an-
of his wrestlers who was being treated by the trainer.

Not able to contain himself, Işık went back into the stands to
again beat the same boy he had battered earlier. For his final
performance, Işık punched one of his wrestlers after he lost
his match. In all, only one of Işık's charges was able to win
a group championship. The winning wrestlers won the right
to participate in the Turkey Championship to be held in Çorum.  

Windfall Brings Family Reunion

(Hürriyet Newspaper, 18 January 2011)

In connection with land left to Hacı Hüseyin Ağa, the grandson of
Ottoman-era tax collector Karaosmanzade Hacı Ömer Ağa, 620
heirs have been identified. The case is being heard in Kocaeli Petty
Court and involves 10 acres in Güvercinlik and 100 acres in
Sazköy, both near Bodrum and valued at ten million dollars. The
heirs who hope to share in the windfall gathered in a wedding hall
yesterday in Mumcular, Bodrum, to select the six people who
will represent them in court. About 20 women aged 80 or over
entered the hall with the aid of relatives and canes.

Real estate expert Tuncer Rıfat Barın, known for his work
updating Ottoman-era title deeds in Kocaeli, said that the
number of heirs who had applied to the court has shrunk from
1,129 to 620 because of  inter-family marriages. Barin determined
that Hüseyin Ağa had 11 children from three wives and eight of
these children had continued the family line. From 33 grandchıldren
a total of nearly 1,000 heirs emerged.

Boo-birds: Smile and Say 'Cheese' for PM

(Haberturk Newspaper, 17 January 2011)

The Galatasaray Football Club council met yesterday in the wake
of Prime Minister Recep Tayyıp Erdoğan's hurried exit from the
new Galatasary stadium on Saturday because of boos and whistles
from fans.

The embarrassed Galatasaray council chief Adnan Polat
declared that 'those who have cast this stain over the stadium's
opening night cannot be members of Galatasaray. We are
extremely grateful to the Prime Minister for the magnificent gift
he has given us with this stadium.'

Continuing, Polat said that 'the Prime Minister was subjected to
an insult he didn't deserve. Security will look at the video of the
crowd to identify the protesters and we will not let them enter the
stadium again. They will not spoil the atmosphere.'

Devil Does Details

(Hürriyet Newspaper, 17 January 2011)

Some people in Izmir complained to police that they had been
defrauded by a person who wrote predictions for them and then
read and blew over the writings, promising that they would come
true. A short while later Mesut Topar (61) was arrested.

Topar first hoodwinked  M.N.S., who had 25,000 Turkish Lira
worth of gold and money stolen from her home, by convincing her to
give him 10,000 Turkish Lira worth of gold and silver which he
would then bury in order to get the stolen items back. In another
case, Topar promised to help a woman, S.G., whose husband's job
was on the rocks. Topar read a charm of some sort and then blew
over it, obtaining 10,000 Turkish Lira from S.G. for his trouble.

A different incident in Adana involved 33 year-old Mehmet
Devrim Demirci, who has been undergoing psychiatric treatment for
five years. At 1 PM  yesterday afternoon Demirci used two knives
to stab his sister Pınar Dilek Demirci 60 times in the home they
share. Demirci, who was captured by neighbors as he tried to
escape, stated that 'an evil spirit named Leyla entered into my
sister.' When asked by reporters to explain further, Demirci said
'I killed her because it was necessary. I killed Leyla Dağdelen.'
According to neighbors, the two siblings have lived in the rented
home for seven years.  Mehmet Devrim Demirci recently scored
poorly on the KPSS exam for government jobs and was un-
employed.


 

King Nicolas Picks His Colors

(Hürriyet and Sabah Newspapers, 16 January 2011)

After filming some scenes in Cappadocia, the production of
the film 'Ghostrider 2' starring Oscar actor Nicholas Cage,
has moved to the white wonderland of Pamukkale, where a
king's suite is under contruction for Mr. Cage at the Collosea
Thermal Hotel in Karahayıt town of Denizli province. The
suite is being specially made for the famous actor and will
be built as a triplex, with a private sauna, office, bedrooms,
kitchen and an area for entertaining guests.

The famous actor is expected to arrive in Denizli during the
upcoming week, along with a 220-person crew. They will
stay for 10 days at the hotel, where special security measures
will be taken and comings and goings strictly controlled.
Metin Paç, the hotel's deputy chief, said that they have built
a private pool and relaxation area on the first floor of the
king's suite.

The office and an area for entertaining guests will be on the
second floor, while the third floor will house the bedroom and
sauna. Paç stated that 'we've thought of every detail. Nicholas
Cage identified the colors he wants. We've prepared the project
in accordance with his wishes.'  It has been learned that the
famous actor wants his room to be painted gray, with a white
ceiling and walnut-colored paint for the closets and cabinets.

Paç was confident that 'we'll complete the project prior to Mr.
Cage's arrival. Our goal is to make Denizli and Pamukkale
known around the world.'  Already, reports about the film and
Turkey, Nevşehir and Denizli have appeared in the Washington
Post, Belfast Telegraph, News.Az, ABC, Pittsburgh Post
Gazette, El Nuevo Herald and El Universal.

Man Bites Shark

(Hürriyet Newspaper, 16 January 2011)

Adil Malay (25), an alleged loan shark operating in Ceyhan district
of Adana province, and his father, provided money in exchange for
interest to the father of Niyazi Akyüz (31), a security guard working
at the Ceyhan Municiple Asri Cemetery. When Malay couldn't
collect on his investment he beat up Akyüz a few times and burned
his car. Consequently, a case was opened against Malay but the
day before yesterday at lunch time Malay went to Asri Cemetery
and threatened Akyüz.

Once again Akyüz compained to police about Malay, who was later
taken into custody and brought to the Gaziosmanpaşa police station.
When Akyüz learned this, he left his post at the cemetery and went to
the Gaziosmanpaşa police station. Wearing his security guard uniform,
Akyüz was able to enter the police station and then used his duty
revolver to fire a hail of bullets at Malay. Akyüz was subdued by police
and Malay expired at the scene.

Steal a Kiss, Eight Years in Jail

(Vatan Newspaper, 15 January 2011)

The incident in question occured on the 7th of June 2008 in the
Ertuğrul Gazi neighborhood of Palandöken district of Erzurum
province. According to claims, N.Z. started to go back upstairs
from her apartment house's ground floor after having shaken out
a table cloth outside the building. At the same time, N.T., who
lives on the fourth floor of the same building, was hurriedly coming
down the staircase and when he encountered his neighbor N.Z. he
pressed her up against a wall, caressed her cheeks, kissed her
on the lips and went on his way.

N.Z. then filed a complaint about N.T., saying in her statement
that she was frozen by fear. N.Z. stated that 'when N. kissed me
I told my husband and he told me to go and tell N.T.'s wife G.T.
about the incident so I did. G.T. said to me 'God damn that jerk!
His friends went to Mecca for the haj. He sold his car but he couldn't
go so he was crying in the house. Then he ran out to noon prayers
and while leaving the building he did this to you.''  N.Z. added that
'I'm psychologically upset because of this incident. I filed a suit
against N.T.'  Subsequently, the public prosecutor opened a case
about N.T. in Erzurum's 3rd Serious Crimes Court.

As the case proceeded, N.Z. was sent to Istanbul's Forensic
Medicine Center for a determination of her psychological state.
In its report of 30 March 2009, the Sixth Special Council decided
that N.Z.'s mental health had been disturbed by the incident with
N.T. who was then found guilty by the court committee and
sentenced to 10 years in prison. The sentence was reduced to
8 years 4 months for good behavior but N.T. objected to the
decision, declaring that 'as I went down the staircase my arm
touched N.Z.'s arm and she insulted me. Actually, I'm the one
who has a complaint about her!'

Health Euros For Lamborghini

(Hürriyet Newspaper, 15 January 2011)

Sabit Tüfekçi, a Turk living in Copenhagen's Hellerup neighbor-
hood, uses a wheelchair and gets assistance money from the
municipality. When it became known that Tüfekçi had used this
money to buy a luxury Lamborghini automobile for his brother it
became the news of the day. The chief of  Copenhagen's Social
Assistance Office, Jens Elmelund, who watched the report about
Tüfekçi broadcast on TV2 news, was prompted to  file a police
complaint about Tüfekçi and his firm.

It was determined that Tüfekçi had shown his mother and
brother, who care for him, as workers in his company, 'Handi Help'.
Even if this isn't a crime in Denmark, Tüfekçi was obliged to use
the 10,500 Euros he gets from the municipality each month for
his own health care. In his own defense, though, Tüfekçi explained
that 'My brother drives the Lamborghini. I bought him an expensive
car so that he'd have a better life and look after me better, as well.'
If Tüfekçi is found to have committed a crime he'll have to pay the
money back, with interest, along with a heavy fine.

Maestro Hits an Arabesque Nerve

(Hürriyet Newspaper, 15 January 2011)

Orchestra leader Gürer Aykal had an operation on his left hand
last week and then had trouble waking up because of the effects
of the anesthesia. So his doctor played one of 'arabesque' singer
Hakkı Bulut's songs in order to shock Aykal into consciousness.
Afterwards, Aykal was quoted as having said that 'hearing such
music shocked  me back to life even though I was in a half-dead
state.'  Referring to this quote from Aykal, Bulut declared that 'if
that fellow likes my music and listening to it made him feel better
then there's nothing I can say. But if he's saying that when he listened
to my music he was terrified then he's disrespecting me and those
who love 'arabesque' music. In that case, I'll take every opportunity,
especially on television, to castigate him in public. If he's making fun
of us then he'll get what's coming to him from us. I'm an artist who
speaks for millions of people and I'm proud that I make 'arabesque'
music.'

Aged Bully De-caned

(Haberturk Newspaper, 13 January 2011)

The most recent example that family violence, and particularly
violence against women, can happen at any age comes from
Ankara. Hasan Hüseyin A. (82) used his cane to break the
bones of his 83 year-old wife who wanted him to put a blanket
over her. The court warned the old man that 'if you resort to
violence again I'll take your cane away.' The cane used in the
attack, which actually belongs to Hasan Hüseyin A.'s wife,
was then put under 'judicial care'.

The incident occured two months ago when neighbors heard
screams coming from the home of the elderly pair in Yenimahalle
and intervened. The old women had sustained broken bones
in her hand, arm and shoulders but did not file a complaint
against her husband.

Judge Eray Karınca, who heard the case, explained why the
elderly man was not jailed. The Judge said that 'his wife is
bedridden and needs looking after. Besides that, the old man
wouldn't be able to bear the conditions in jail.' Nevertheless,
the public prosecutor has prepared an indictment against
Hasan Hüseyin A. for 'deliberate battery' and is requesting
imprisonment.

The Unenlightened Tourist Pays Dearly

(Haberturk Newspaper, 13 January 2011)

Tourists who have come to Istanbul and been made to pay
exorbitant charges are writing about their experiences on the
internet and sending complaints to Turkish ambassadors in their
home countries. Most of the establishments that conduct these
fraudulent practices are located in Beyoğlu, Sultanahmet and
Şişli, but once caught they pay only a small fine and resume their
activities.

One French tourist wrote to the Turkish Ambassador in Paris
that 'I've never felt more violated in my life!'  Japanese tourist
Kei Hanzava and two friends are among those who complained
to police, relating that some people whom they met brought them
to a bar. Afterwards they were presented with a bill for 4,000
Turkish Lira and threatened. They only saved themselves from
a beating by withdrawing 1,800 Turkish Lira with their credit
cards. Following the incident, the Japanese searched the internet
for similar stories and found that many other Japanese tourists
had had like experiences.

In 2005 travel writer Nicholas Hall of The Guardian newspaper
noted that he had been directed to the bar My Way in Yenikapı
by a fellow named Ali whom he had met in Sultanahmet. After
drinking one beer Hall was charged 350 Turkish Lira and threatened
if he didn't agree to pay.

The luring system works this way: someone will ask a tourist for a
light or some sımılar pretext to chat and then try to win the tourist's
trust. Then the tourists are brought to a bar where women join
their table with or without the tourist's request. Drinks, food and
flowers follow, also without the tourist's concurrence, and ultimately
an extravagant bill.

Is the Bike OK?

(Hürriyet Newspaper, 13 January 2011)

Nurettin Delen (45), riding on his motorcycle in Kepez district
of Antalya province, crashed into a minibus. Passers-by assured
Delen that help was on the way but Delen began to cry, moaning
'I just took out a line of credit. If I'm injured how can I pay it
back?'  When Delen phoned his relatives he was in for another
shock - rather than asking about Delen's well-being, his opposite
party wanted to know whether the motorcycle had survived intact.
An infuriated Delen screamed into the phone 'I'm at death's door
and you're asking about the motorcycle?!' and then hung up.

Ten-Year Jumper

(Haberturk Newspaper, 12 January 2011)

Mobile meatball seller Abdulmuttalip Demir, who didn't get the
shop stall promised to him in Bursa, threatened to jump off a
bridge. Local shop owners tried to persuade him out of it but
failing to do so they tied Demir to the bridge. The police came
and were unsuccessful in getting Demir off the bridge. Finally,
an aide to the mayor arrived and was able to talk Demir down
from Setbaşı Bridge. Demir was then taken to the police station
to make a statement.

Ten years ago Demir had had his vehicle impounded for drunk
driving and climbed the same bridge to commit suicide. At that
time Demir wanted then-president Ahmet Necdet Sezer to come
to see him. Told by police this would be impossible, Demir asked
for the governor. Police then had a local waiter pose as the
'governor', who was able to dissuade Demir from jumping. 

45 Centimeters Too Close for Comfort

(Hürriyet Newspaper, 11 January 2011)

Ibrahim Tol, principal at the Nevit Kodallı Anatolian
Fine Arts and Sports High School in Mersin, wanted
the boys and girls at the school to remain at least 45
centimeters away from one another. Since the beginning of
the 2010-2011 school year Principal Tol has been verbally
warning the teenagers in this regard. The students told
their parents about this but nothing changed so yesterday
about 100 people - students and their parents - gathered
in front of the school to protest. The students rebelled,
saying 'a board was even placed in front of the row of girls
who wore skirts!'

The next day,  Mersin National Education Director Hasan
Gül characterized the situation at the school as unfortunate.
He stated that 'there can be no order for boys and girls to
stay 45 centimeters away from one another in a school
which is coeducational and where the students sit together
in the same classrooms and the same rows. There has been
no such order and everyone knows this. The report that a
board was placed in front of the row where the girl students
sit is baseless. The rows in the school are the same as those
used everywhere else in Turkey. Also, the boys and girls
use the same cafeteria.' A National Education Inspector
has been assigned by the governor to investigate the school.

Air Conditioned Ski Holiday

(Hürriyet Newspaper, 11 January 2011)

Ramazan S. went to the Antalya National Education Directorate
last week and explained that an unnamed philanthropist wanted
to replace the aging air conditioners in the local schools with
new ones. Excited officials at the Directorate directed Ramazan S.
to the Aksu District National Education Directorate, where there
was an urgent need for new air conditioners.

Ramazan S. and his supposed technical aide then visited five Aksu
district schools, accompanied by each school's principal, and
proceeded to remove 45 air conditioners. The suspects even took
air conditioners from the homes of two teachers of Pınarlı
Elementary School, Hasan Hüseyin Altındal and Mevlüt Çırpan,
who apparently hoped to get new ones for themselves from
Ramazan S.   

When no new air conditioners arrived during the following week
local officials realized they had been duped and called the police,
who then determined that the suspects had gone on a ski vacation
to Uludağ aboard a luxury minibus. The group was taken into custody
at Uludağ and brought back to Antalya. The air conditioners had been
sold on the second-hand spot market but police recovered them
all.

Ramazan S. was already being sought for robbing his grandmother
and deserting the army. Along with Ramazan S., Gökhan Ç. and
Adnan T. were arrested, while Elif S., Özge Ş., Hüseyin Ö and
Rükiye T. were released pending trial.

Not Always Better Late Than Never

(Haberturk Newspaper, 11 January 2011)

Ali Zorlu (54), who lives in Göktepe village near the provincial
capital of Muğla, went on his tractor to visit his relatives in
Bozyer village. Returning from the visit, Zorlu could not nego-
tiate a sharp curve and crashed the tractor. Local villagers
tried to help the seriously injured Zorlu but the driver for Göktepe
village's ambulance was nowhere to be found. Once a driver
was identified the ambulance wouldn't start and Zorlu lost
consciousness while waiting for it to come the 15 kilometers
from Göktepe village.  A frantic call was then made to Muğla,
56 kilometers away, for another ambulance. In the meantime,
the village women managed to start the Göktepe ambulance by
pushing it. Concurrently, the ambulance from Muğla arrived
but all for naught - Ali Zorlu had died while waiting.  

Skirting the Issue

(Haberturk Newspaper, 10 January 2011)

Psychologist Z.A., who works at the Samsun Provincial Social
Services Directorate, had an argument with Provincial Director
Adnan Ipekdal who said that Z.A.'s skirt was too short. Z.A.
was then removed from her job.

Labor union leader Süleyman Bal described Director Adnan
Ipekdal's actions as follows: 'he summoned her to his room,
saying the psychologist's skirt was too short. He then pointed
at her and ordered her to go home and change her outfit. Z.A.,
however, asked Ipekdal why he was uncomfortable about her
skirt and left his office feeling as though she had been threatened.'

Bal added that Ipekdal shortly thereafter wanted to transfer Z.A.
to Havza dıstrict, citing a need there as a pretext, but the governor
intervened to thwart the transfer. About Ipekdal, labor union
chief  Bal said 'Is it your main duty to measure the skirt length of
women personnel? Where do you get the right to do this? Do
you find it moral to fire someone because you think that a pro-
fessional staff member's dress doesn't conform to your world
view? Doesn't applying this kind of social intimidation take things
too far, insisting on your own views in the work place?'

Ipekdal, though, said there had been no argument about the
skirt's length, explaining that 'we warned her about her outfit.
Generally speaking, she wasn't dressed in conformity with the
State Workers Dress Code.'

Much Ado About Fools' Gold

(Hürriyet Newspaper, 10 January 2011)

Eight people who claimed to have found buried treasure in
Manisa got in contact with potential customers H.Ö. and H.Ç.
from Istanbul. The two sides met yesterday in Biga district
of Çanakkale province but when the time came to exchange
nine kilograms of gold for a large amount of cash a disagreement
occured. Guns were drawn and in the ensuing firefight Halil
Akpınar (29) of the 8-person group was seriously wounded.
The would-be customers, H.Ö. and H.Ç., then took the gold
without leaving the cash while Akpınar's friends took him to
the hospital, where he died. The Gendarmerie stopped the
car carrying Akpınar's friends after they had left Akpınar at
the hospital and Ö.D., S.E., F.Y., S.Y. and A.G. were taken
into custody. Two others, one of them a woman, escaped
in the darkness. H.Ö., who had taken the gold and the cash,
was arrested in Istanbul and taken back to Çanakkale, only
to learn that the gold was fake. H.Ç. is still being sought.

Pretty Legs Prompt Confusion

(Sabah Newspaper, 9 January 2011)

In Kahramanmaraş, a search made upon reports about the
sighting of two children's bodies turned out instead to be
a shop window mannequin. Two seperate callers to the police
155 hotline last evening reported seeing the two children's
bodies buried next to each other in an olive grove in the
Abdulhamithan neighborhood. Police then sent a large number
of civilian and police searchers with flashlights to the area,
closing off the 1.5 acre olive grove. The search went on for
quite a while, until the shop window mannequin's legs were
found next to an olive tree. The police then assumed that
recent heavy rains and the resulting flooding had exposed the
two legs belonging to a female shop window mannequin. The
hotline callers had evidently mistaken the mannequin's legs
for bodies because of the darkness and the police decided
to call off the search.

Pickpocket's Worst Day

(Posta Newspaper, 7 January 2011)

Genco Bayar (66) boarded a dolmuş (collective taxi) in Gazi-
antep and then noticed that his cellphone and 80 Turkish Lira
were missing. He alerted the driver who used his own cellphone
to call Bayar's. When Bayar's phone rang it was in the coat
of pickpocket Mustafa O., another dolmuş passenger. Yet
another passenger, a policeman, then took Mustafa O. into
custody. Later, while at the police station, Mustafa O. learned
from one of his relatives that his mother had died of cancer.
Mustafa O., who has been arrested 25 times for pickpocketing
and theft, will be held in jail until trial.

Emergencies Are Relative

(Posta Newspaper, 7 January 2011)

Erzincan Police Chief Mehmet Tüzel stated that 'in our city
interesting but pointless calls are coming into the 155 Police
Assistance hotline. These calls cause operators to waste time.
We would like our citizens to avoid tying up the lines with these
ridiculous calls.'

Some examples: - 'I'm drunk and I'm going to Yoğurtlu town.
                            There are dogs along the way. Can you send
                             a team?'

                          - 'My son is misbehaving. If I put him on the
                             phone will you scold him for me.'

                          - 'Would you send us three cups of tea?'

                          - 'I'm a soldier. I thought I was calling the military
                            line.'

                          - 'There's a satellite in the sky tracking us. I'm
                            letting you know so you can do something.'

                          - 'I'm going to friday service. My goods are outside
                             so please send a team to watch my store.'

Five Others Need Prayers Now

(Sabah Newspaper, 6 January 2011)

The family of Murat Karadeniz (28), who was killed in a traffic
accident and had arranged to donate his organs, abandoned the
donation because they said the body would not be ready for
the late afternoon prayer service. However, Dr. Azem Ülkü,
transplant coordinator at Çanakkale State Hospital, stated that
the family had agreed to the donations and that the body would
have been ready by the time of the prayer service. He explained
the situation as follows:

'There was a delay because a patient awaiting a lung transplant
in Istanbul had a problem related to tissue suitability. There was
also a transport problem so we had to delay the operation to
remove the organs from Murat Karadeniz. The family then
abandoned the donation, saying the body wouldn't be ready for
the prayer service.' 

Dr. Ülkü did not accuse the family of any wrongdoing and was
respectful toward their decision. Nevertheless, he noted that
'Five persons' lives would have been different. Patients were
waiting in Bursa for two kidneys and the liver. There were also
patients at Gazi Osman Paşa Hospital waiting for the pancreas
and at Süreyya Paşa Hospital for the lungs.'

One of Karadeniz's relatives, Mustafa Şahin, said that they had
wanted to donate the organs but the related matters were not
handled  in a timely manner so they had to refuse the donations.

Lavatory Offers No Safe Harbor

(Hürriyet Newspaper, 6 January 2011)

Hüseyin Koç (55) has worked as a truck driver for ten years at
the Eynez coal mine facility of Ege Lignite Processing in Soma
district of Manisa Province. The day before yesterday at 1830,
after a tea break, he went to the shanty used as a lavatory. At
the same time, Harun Kurt, with whom Koç had just shared tea,
drove his large-tire vehicle into the shanty-lavatory. Koç, who is
the father of three children, was buried under the debris and lost
his life. Truck driver Harun Kurt was taken into custody by the
Gendarmerie.

Make Your Vote Count...Or Else

(Hürriyet Newspaper, 6 January 2011)

The Koç family won the Tektek Irrigation Union elections two weeks
ago in Şanlıurfa but bad feelings between the Koç's and the Aslan and
Demirkır families, who didn't vote for the Koç's, boiled over yesterday.
According to claims, about 50 members of the Koç, Kaya and Beyazkuş
families attacked the Demirkır and Aslan families on the Kısas road with
rifles, knives, rocks and bats. The attackers also damaged seven vehicles
belonging to the police, who came to intervene. The scene turned into a
'war zone' and special police forces had to be sent in. Fourteen people
were injured and Ahmet Aslan (14) had his throat cut, expiring at the
hospital. The police took 33 people into custody.

Gigolos Don't Make the Grade

(Haberturk Newspaper, 5 January 2011)

A fraud case that has been talked about secretly in Izmir
has shocked those who have heard about it. About 20
women aged 45 and above have filed a complaint with
the public prosecutor, saying that the rent-a-gigolo internet
site they are members of has charged them between 100
and 400 Turkish Lira for gigolos they weren't satisfied
with. Some women said that when men older than those
they requested showed up they demanded their money
back but didn't get it. In accordance with the prosecutor's
instructions, the Bureau for Pickpockets and Fraud was
given information in order to begin an investigation into
this interesting incident.

Satan's Picture Makes the Fifth Edition

(Haberturk Newspaper, 5 January 2011)

In Samsun, a retired Islamic holy man has published a photo
of Satan taken for the first time with a cellphone camera at
an outdoor bar. Muharrem Çavuşoğlu, the former holy man,
published his first book 'The World of Secret Knowledge and
Secrets about Religion' in 2004. The next year a friend of his
took a picture while the friend and his acquaintences were
drinking alcohol in the garden of a bar. There was a form in
the tree shown in the photo that the friend could not identify.

Çavuşoğlu examined the photo and determined that the form
in question was Satan. He waited until 2010 to announce his
finding and said that he has included it in the fifth printing of
his book to prove to people that such entities exist. He said
'I've studied this matter for many years. Based on my inves-
tigation, I have determined that the form in the tree is Satan.
This Satan is found near those who drink alcohol and gamble,
angering them or inciting them. Spirits and devils like to show
themselves from time to time in a fantastic way, as in the photo.'

Spare Wives from Morocco

(Hürriyet Newspaper, 5 January 2011)

In Mardin, ethnic Arab men who meet Moroccan women on the
internet are bringing them to Turkey as second wives. Gökçe and
Ortaköy towns are in the forefront of this movement. Halit Öncel
was the first in Gökçe to bring a second Moroccan wife. Already
married and with 11 children, Öncel met Monia on the internet,
divorced his wife and married Monia, who had four years of
training in a religious school after finishing high school and speaks
French fluently. Quite a number of married men in Gökçe and
Ortaköy have followed the path blazed by Öncel. The number of
internet cafes in Gökçe has increased from one to three and
Morrocan wives have doubled from 15 to 30 over the past year.
There were no Morrocan wives in Ortaköy but now there are
10. Twenty four of the Morrocan wives are 'kuma', or second
wives.

Aziza Eroğlu is one of the Moroccan women who have come to
Mardin as 'kuma', despite the fact that she is a university graduate
and French teacher. The young woman, who taught in a kinder-
garten in Rabat and who knows English too, is married to
Iskender Eroğlu of Gökçe. Eroğlu was living with his first wife,
whom he had never officially married, so he said that he had no
problem marrying Aziza, who is seven months pregnant. Jamila,
who is married to Samir Bozdağ, was the first Morrocan girl to
come to Mardin already married. She and Bozdağ met over the
internet and were married in Morocco. Jamila speaks French
and Spanish fluently and is two months pregnant.

So Much for Women's Lib

(Haberturk Newspaper, 4 January 2011)

Hayrünnisa Güneri, who wants to open a cafeteria with her daughter,
applied to the Bornova Social Assistance Fund for a 15,000 Turkish
Lira loan. Fund officials met with Güneri and prepared a report which
was submitted to a 12-person committe that included the district
governor. The committe returned this reponse to Güneri: 'denied'.

The reason given for the rejection was that 'since you are a woman
you cannot run a cafeteria'. Güneri then filed a petition with the district
governor, asking that the decision be reviewed.  However, the most
interesting explanation of the rejection came from the head of the
Bornova Social Assistance Fund, Hasan Özince, who asserted that
the denial of credit to Güneri had not been because she is a woman.
He stated that 'we had to reject Hayrünnisa Güneri's credit request
with appropriate language because it wasn't she who was going to
run the cafeteria but her boyfriend. He had come with her to all the
proceedings. Are we to provide credit to a boyfriend, to the person
you live with? Anyway, they sit in the park with their arms around
each other. How can we give them credit?  So in order not to hurt
her feelings we said that we won't give you credit because you're
a woman.'

The explanation of the Bornova district goveror, Hakkı Uzun, who
concurred in the original rejection, was interesting, as well. He said
after the denial was issued that Güneri had 'credibility', that the Fund's
leader's words were wrong and that such a pretext for rejection could
not be justified.

When Things Get Complicated

(Haberturk Newspaper, 4 January 2011)

Citizens walking along the shore at Yedikule in Istanbul saw
the body of a man among the rocks two mornings ago. Police
were able, with help from the fire department, to extract the
body of Mahir Albayrak.

Albayrak (26) left his home in Bahçelievler on 16 December,
saying he was going to see a friend, but didn't return. His
family filed a missing persons report in which it was explained
that Mahir Albayrak's father had been killed in a blood feud
in Malatya in 1999 and that Mahir's older brother Yusuf
Albayrak had killed the person who had murdered their father.

Mahir Albayrak's other older brother, Aytekin Albayrak, is
in prison as a suspect in the 2007 kidnapping of Beykent
University student Ufuk Yüksel (21). A ransom of 200,000
Turkish Lira was demanded from Yüksel's father, Mehmet
Yüksel, but the younger Yüksel was strangled before the
ransom was collected.  

Tell It To The Wall

(Hürriyet Newspaper, 4 January 2011)

Hızır Duman, who has operated a market in Prime Minister
Recep Tayyip Erdoğan's Subayevleri neighborhood in Ankara
since 1996, has found a solution to having to listen to his
customers' complaints. He put a sign on the wall that reads
'Complaints listened to for a price, advice given.'

Duman says that the number of complaining people has
increased over the last year, saying 'since I have to listen to
these people anyway I might as well not do it for nothing.
I figured why not make some money from them if they
won't buy anything.' Duman said that men mostly complain
about harrassment from their wives and women whine
about the things they can't have. Also, Ankaragücü football
fans rail about the failings of the club's directors. As for the
price of complaining, Duman asks for 'whatever you're
willing to give' to listen to customers' whines but he
added that since he started charging complaints have de-
creased markedly.  He summarized thusly: 'people who see
the sign laugh until they realize I'm serious and then they
leave the store without complaining. I haven't made any
money from it yet but the number of whiners has dropped off.
So even if I don't make any money from it at least I don't
have to listen to complaints anymore.'

Unluckiest Patient Seen as Human Bomb

(Hürriyet Newspaper, 3 January 2011)

In Aydın province, Nihat Çelebi had two remote-controlled devices
implanted under his skin to relieve the pain caused by a hernia.
However, his life turned into a nightmare when the doctor
mistakenly cut a cable during the operation. Çelebi, who said
that he has had 19 operations up to now, experienced severe
pain in his foot because of the hernia and he explained the
situation as follows:

'The decision was made to implant a 47 thousand dollar device
imported from abroad under the skin at my hip in order to
ease the pain. Two devices that stop the pain with vibrations
were placed under the skin but shortly afterwards the pain
increased. It turned out during an examination that the devices
had been situated close to the right hip bone resulting in
unbearable pain. The doctor decided to place the devices a
bit higher up and did so during an operation 20 days later.
But in the course of the operation the doctor cut a cable
with a lance.'

Prof. Dr. Osman Nuri Aydın, head of the Adnan Menderes
University Medical Department Hospital's Algology (pain)
Section, remarked that Çelebi is one of the unluckiest patients
he has ever seen, promising that 'this week we'll operate again
and relieve the patient's pain.'

Nihat Çelebi related the problems he's had after the operation
that cut the cable of the pain-killing device as follows: 'Adnan
Menderes University called for bids from companies for the
1500 Turkish Lira cable but there was no response. I wanted
to explain my problem to Health Minister Recep Akdağ when
he came to Aydın but when his security guards checked me
the device under my skin gave off a signal. They thought I was
a human bomb and took me into custody. I have a document
that says that I'm 70 percent handicapped by my application
for retirement was rejected. I can't take it any more. My
wife had a heart attack from the stress.'

Stand-in Upstages

(Sabah Newspaper, 2 January 2011)

In Konya's Selçuk district the night before last, a driver who had
been out drinking and carousing with friends, noticed that police
were making sobriety checks at the approaching Adalhan intersection.
The driver, desperate for a solution, solicited help from passer-by
Haldun Torunoğlu (26), asking him to take the wheel up to the police
checkpoint. Torunoğlu agreed but when the police gave him the
breathalizer test his alcohol level showed 0.76 promil. The car's
original driver then scolded Torunoğlu for taking up the driver's
proposal when he knew he was high. Nevertheless, the driver
was not fined by police but Torunoğlu was given a summons for
590 Turkish Lira and had his license suspended for six months.
Torunoğlu then appealed to the original driver to pay his fine for
him. The bewildered original driver was left nonplussed.

Third Time's a Charm

(Sabah Newspaper, 2 January 2011)

In Adana, Halit K., who escaped two previous attempts to
kill him, was strangled with a cable by his wife's boyfriend Asaf Ş.
Allegedly, Halit's wife Gülşen K. made an agreement with Asaf Ş.
and his nephew Ramazan T. for the murder at a price of 100,000
Turkish Lira. After the second attempt to kill Halit K., Ramazan T.
had been taken into custody and he admitted that such an agree-
ment had been made with Gülşen K. However, Ramazan T. was
released pending trial. Then, on 29 December, Halit K.'s daughter
found her father beaten and strangled at home. Gülşen K. told
police that her boyfriend Asaf Ş. had committed the murder.

Rover's Revenge

(Sabah Newspaper, 2 January 2011)

Erdem Kayak (39) took a break from hunting in Konya's Beyşehir
district and started a cooking fire, leaving his rifle on the ground as
he took his place at the table. At the same moment, his hunting
dog walked on top of the rifle, firing it and seriously woulding Kayak
in his hip. Kayak was taken by ambulance to Beşehir State Hospital
but because of the large amount of buckshot in his hip he was then
moved to Selçuk University Meram Medical Hospital.

Deep Fried Thief

(Hürriyet Newspaper, 1 January 2011)

At midday yesterday in Antalya an individual between 20-25
years old entered  a transformer station, whose door had been
left open, intending to steal copper cable. According to police
information, when the wrong cable was mistakenly cut an
explosion occurred and the man was electrocuted with 31,500
volts of electricity.  Four neighborhoods then lost their power.
Since the dead man could only be pried from the cables with
difficulty and was burned beyond recognition he could not be
identified.

No Country for Old Santa

(Haberturk Newspaper, 31 December 2010)

Twenty members of the Anatolian Youth Association gathered in
front of the main building of Istanbul University and read a press
notice which stated that they condemned New Year's celebrations
and wanted to stress their opposition to the beliefs of anyone
celebrating it. University student Güven Gündüz, who read the
press statement by starting with an Islamic prayer, said that
'New Year's celebrations are an effort to impose Western cultural
imperialism on Moslems.'  He added that the claim that New Year's
night is the birthday of  Jesus  does not reflect the truth. After
the announcement they read verse 162 of the Enam section of the
Koran. One of the students then sprayed a blow-up Santa Claus
with black paint before stabbing it a number of times with a knife
he took from his pocket.

Cat's Got The Gas Pedal

(Hürriyet Newspaper, 31 December 2010)

A car driven by UN volunteer health advisor Liliana Lombardi (49)
of Romania flew into a canal in Ereğli District of Konya Province
because one of the cats in her car escaped its cage and run under the
gas pedal, causing Lombardi to lose control of the vehicle. Lombardi
was injured in the accident and extracted from the car by health
workers.  She did not want to leave the cats and dogs in her car but
was finally persuaded to board an ambulance.

Lombardi works in the Turkish Republic of Northern Cyprus and
had come from there by ferryboat to Mersin, whereupon she set
out for Ankara with 12 cats and 2 dogs in cages inside her car.
The cats and dogs were put into a military vehicle by soldiers and
taken to the police station for safekeeping. Lombardi had previously
worked in Van, eastern Turkey, for three years.