During the course of his stay in Burdur, Halim Salim (HS) was invited
to a wedding:
"I found myself at a wedding here. Since Anatolian customs are
different from those of Istanbul and other places I took the opportunity
to attend the wedding. Herewith my account:"
"A fellow that I knew got married. He was a state official and invited
many of his friends, along with me. The next day, they told me that
they would be going to bring the bride-to-be from her home to the
groom's and that I should come along. I wanted to see what a Burdur
wedding was like so I went."
"The bride-to-be was boarded onto a 'tatar' (government courier)
carriage and we set out, with three or four 'münadi' (heralders) and
'duahan' (prayer-sayers) in front of us. Whatever they were shouting
and praying couldn't be understood but, after five minutes, they
repeated the same thing. I'd never heard such utterances so I asked
my companions and was told 'we don't know what they're saying
either!'"
In any event, in this manner, we conveyed the bride-to-be to the
groom's house. That evening we went to the 'zifaf' (wedding
ceremony) and prayed in the mosque of Kalender Dede. After the
meal we all said 'yatsı' (two hours after sunset) prayers. Then we
took the groom to his house, where the town 'mufti' (religious
official) said a prayer at his front door and then everyone present
completed the event by reading 'Fatiha' (opening chapter of the
Koran)."
"However, at this point, they all beat the daylights out of the groom!!!
After depositing the poor fellow in his home, everyone returned to
Kalender Dede mosque but I said to myself 'enough is enough! It's
four in the morning! Do they have other customs to perform??!!
And do the invitees get a beating, too??!!'"
"Nevertheless, I went along with them all to Kalender Dede mosque
but after sitting a while I tried to excuse myself and go home.
But they said 'We're going to eat lamb so hold on!' An hour and a half
later the groom appeared holding a big tray with a stuffed lamb on it. I
wondered what the meaning of this was and asked the fellow next to
me."
"He said 'Before the bride and groom consummate the wedding they eat a
piece of lamb and then the groom offers some to the guests. The groom
then asks permission to leave and if the guests agree he goes. If not, he
stays until morning. In other words, it's up to the guests to allow the
groom to go home.'"
"For a while, I thought about this odd custom, feeling sorry for the poor
groom! If he crosses the guests somehow, God give that groom and his
bride patience! In any case, after eating some lamb and having learned
about this custom, I persuaded the guests to free him and send him home.
The poor fellow joyfully departed. One wonders how much he had
prayed for this!"
END of PART THREE
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