31 Mart 2014 Pazartesi

Batman-style Democracy

turkce links to original Turkish article

(Sabah Newspaper, 31 March 2014)

//ed. note: Yezidis are a Kurdish people whose religion is
linked to Zoraastrianism.//

Official symbol of the city of Batman

There are only 16 citizens' names on the voter list
in the village of Yolveren, which is linked to the
Batman city center. In the 1990's many of its residents
emigrated to Germany.

In the village, where only two people now live, just
four of the registered voters cast their votes. Eight of
the ten Yezidi citizens with roots in Yolveren village
who came from Hannover, Germany, to support the
Yezidi candidate for village chief,  did not find their
names on the voting list.

Yezidi muhtara gurbetçi yakınlarından destek
Village Chief Alcu took on all comers.
Supporters came in from Germany!

After four of the sixteen registered voters began casting
their votes, within 15 minutes another 5 persons on duty
at the polling place cast their votes there as well.

Mehmet Alcu, the only candidate for the post of village
chief, was elected for the third time and expressed his
delight over his triumph. As for the visitors from Germany,
they said that "we came to support our village chief who
has remained loyal to the village for years."  Village chief
Alcu added that "I'm their only representative."

                                               Batman province.

29 Mart 2014 Cumartesi

Inca-Israeli Relations: The Naked Truth

turkce links to original Turkish article

(Sabah Newspaper, 29 March 2014)

//ed. note: another rare non-Turkish blog report. Based on
the merit of the content, our editors could not help but run it.//

In Peru, sixty tourists were arrested for engaging in group
sex at the site of the ruins of an ancient Inca settlement.
Peruvian police also seized 21 ceramic objects from the Inca
period that were found under the make-shift shanties made
by the tourist, most of whom were Israelis.

Last week, as well, four tourists were arrested for wandering
around naked in the Inca ruins. They had shared the photographs
they took of themselves on social media.

Hey, just having some pre-Columbian kosher fun...

Turistlere 'grup seks' baskını

Twisted Sisters' Crime Spree Concludes

turkce links to original Turkish article

(Hurriyet Newspaper, 28 March 2014)

Pointer Sisters, Andrews Sisters and now the U Sisters

In Cukurova, Adana, six apartments were burgled in the
past week, the doors having been opened with a screwdriver,
tea spoon and a credit card. Police were able to determine the
description of the thieves from surveillance video and saw
that the robbers entered the buildings wearing headscarves
and bluejeans. Upon leaving the buildings the robbers changed
their clothes.

Police identified the thieves as Ozge U. (23), who has a long
record of robberies, and her sisters Ozlem U. (21) and C.U. (17).
Trailing the girls to the Toros neighborhood of Osmaniye,
police captured Ozge U. and Ozlem U. red-handed as they
entered a building.  Younger sister C.U. and lookout Yesil C.
(21) were also taken into custody. The two older sisters
were jailed.

28 Mart 2014 Cuma

Wife-beater Dreams Up Excuse

turkce links to original Turkish article

(HaberTurk Newspaper, 26 March 2014)

..., but maybe they'll scare somebody else.

Housewife G.F. (32), who lives in Eyup, Istanbul, went
to the police station a month ago and reported that she
was being beaten and insulted by her husband of 10 years.

As an example, G.F. cited an incident that occurred on
27 February when she answered the phone of her visiting
mother. G.F. stated that "the caller was family friend Uncle
Necati who said that he wanted to send something via my
father, who is a long-distance truck driver. In response I
said 'I saw you in a dream Uncle Necati. It must have been
a premonition of this.'"

"My husband was in the room at the time and shouted
'you're saying you saw another man in your dream!' Then
he came after me. I said that I didn't see Uncle Necati in
the dream, just his house. Nevertheless, my husband
rained insults on me, grabbed me by  the chin and beat me."

As for husband M.F. (as in 'bad M.F.'), he explained that
"I don't care who my wife was talking with, even if he's a
relative  that kind of talk made me uncomfortable.  I
cursed a bit while we were arguing but when I saw the
situation escalating I headed for the door. However, my
wife scratched my lip and ripped it. I held her by her
wrists so she couldn't scratch my face but I absolutely
did not hit her."

The Medical Office determined that the bruises on the
young woman's arms and wrists were not life-threatening
and could be treated easily. The prosecutor filed a case
against M.F. for 'malicious wounding' and 'insulting',
crimes which carry a jail term of from 1 year 8 months to
6.5 years.

26 Mart 2014 Çarşamba

Parallel Pajama Party Packs 'Em In

turkce links to original Turkish article

(Cumhuriyet Newspaper, 26 March 2014)

                                       Please! No pillow or food fights!

Students at Bulent Ecevit University who reside at the
Karaelmas Women Students Dormitory on Milli Egemenlik
Boulevard in the Incivez neighborhood of  Zonguldak staged
a sit-in protest in the garden at about 2200 hours. About 200
students, some of them in their pajamas, claimed that additional
beds had been added to their 3-person rooms, reducing their study
space, as the result of Prime Minister Erdogan's appeal for students
to leave the dormitories belonging to the Gulen community.

//ed. note: Fethullah Gulen, an Islamic preacher living in
Pennsylvania, has become a thorn in the side of Erdogan,
who characterizes the Gulen'ists as a 'parallel organization'
up to no good.//

The students stated that the extra beds in their rooms had
brought the number of roommates to 4 or 5 in the 3-person
rooms. They chanted slogans like "student reclaim your
bedroom!' and "we don't want 4-person rooms!"  The protest
continued despite pleas from dormitory officials. Later,
Musa Alan, Deputy Regional Director of the Zonguldak
Higher Education Credit and Dormatory Council (quite a
title!) came and tried to persuade the students to end their

Alan phoned an official at the Youth and Sports Ministry
and had him speak with student leader Funda Kaya, who
told the official that the desks in their rooms had been
removed and additional beds put in, forcing them to do
their lessons on the floor.  The official gave the students
a written promise to return the rooms to their former
arrangement and the protest ended.

Musa Alan explained that the problem stemmed from the
students who had left the Gulen community dormitories.
He noted that "the problem in Turkey is that our PM has
said 'solve the problem'. For us to be able to solve the
problem the rooms are 40 square meters, housing 3 students.
The students like this but when the Gulen students came
here everything changed. We put some of those who came
from the Alapli dormitory in the rooms and moved some
male students from the Caydamar dormitory to the male
dormitory here. We'll put the new girls over there and
solve the problem that way until the end of the semester."

                          Zonguldak province on the Black Sea coast.

25 Mart 2014 Salı

OK Given for Women to Divorce Inmate Husbands

turkce links to original Turkish article

(Hurriyet Newspaper, 25 March 2014)

Religious Affairs Ministry scores one for women's rights.

The Ministry of  Religious Affairs has announced that
there is no objection to a woman divorcing an inmate
spouse after one year. The Ministry's ruling is as follows:

Question: "Can a woman whose husband is incarcerated
for a long time marry someone else?"

Answer: "According to most Islamic scholars, a husband's
long-term incarceration or imprisonment (POW) is not a
legitimate reason for divorce. However, according to the
Malikites (followers of Imam Malik, an 8th century Islamic
judge who lived in Medine in present-day Saudi Arabia),
if a husband lives separately from his spouse for a year or
more for whatever reason, then the wife has the right to
request a divorce from the court. Once the judge determines
that there has been more than a year of separation the
spouses can divorce."

"This is applicable to situations of long-term incarceration.
This view of the Maliki sect is deemed to be more
appropriate in this regard. Consequently, a woman whose
husband is incarcerated for a long period of time can apply
to court for a divorce."

24 Mart 2014 Pazartesi

Road Trip! Asylum-ites by Taxi, Lady Bikers to Asia

turkce links to original Turkish article

(Sabah Newspaper, 24 March 2014)

25 asylum-seekers heading for Marmaris from Bodrum in
Mugla province loaded into 5 taxis the night before last but
teams from the Marmaris Gendarmerie Command stopped
the taxis during a routine traffic stop at the Cetibeli police
station. The 19 Syrian and 6 Lebanese asylum-seekers were
planning to meet with illicit transit organizers in Marmaris
and take a boat to the Greek islands.

Mugla province and nearby Greek islands.

turkce links to original Turkish article

(Sabah Newspaper, 24 March 2014)

Yolların amazonları Asya'yı keşfedecek
Get your motor running, head out on the highway...

Piano teacher Cinar Atagun (32) and operation room nurse
Nermin Ulker (40), who live in Istanbul, are planning an
unusual trip. The two women are motorcycle enthusiasts
and will head out on a tour of Asia, making a documentary
along the way.

Atagun and Ulker are also planning to add in a leg on the
Trans-Siberian Express, a favorite among travel fanatics,
as they tour through all the continental Asian nations except
Japan and China. The lady bikers will pass through Azerbaijan,
Turkmenistan, Uzbekistan, Kazakhstan, Russia and Mongolia.

Travel preparations are in the works and the target date for
the tour is May 2016. The two will chalk up 18,700 kilometers
during their 4-month trip.

23 Mart 2014 Pazar

Turk 'FBI' Man's Parallel African Intrigue

Türkçe links to original Turkish article

(Sabah Newspaper, 23 March 2014)

An arrest on the border of Gambia and
Senegal on 8 March has sparked some
activity in Ankara. Gambian security units
took two Turks into custody as they entered
Gambia from Senegal on foot and without

L.O., who is registered in Karaman province
(south central Turkey), was carrying an FBI
ID card and a knife. B.G., the other Turk, is
thought to be involved in the hospitality

The security units had previously received word
that a U.S.-supported radical group would carry
out an assassination attempt against Gambian
President Yahya Jammeh in the coming months.
A secret investigation was opened. When the
two Turks were found with the FBI ID card, and
after giving contradictory explanations, they were
also folded into the assassination investigation.

Bilateral foreign ministry contacts were used to
urgently request information about the two Turks
from Ankara. It turned out that L.O. earned a
masters degree in the U.S. and lived there for many
years. He also knows English, Arabic, Chinese and
French.  L.O. has a 5-10 million dollar-per-year
food company in Turkey and business operations
in Senegal, as well.

In addition, L.O. is under investigation in Senegal
for fraud. He is said to have close links to a 
group of  businessmen in Senegal who are  tied to
the parallel structure.

//ed. note: 'parallel structure' is a euphemism for
the followers of Islamist preacher Fethullah Gulen.
According to Turkish PM Erdogan, the 'parallel
structure' nefariously operates as a shadow
government  in Turkey but its activities extend to
the private sector, as well.//

The Gambia
    Gambia runs parallel (!) to Senegal on either side.

21 Mart 2014 Cuma

'Cat'astrophe For Pak PM's Peacock

Türkçe links to original Turkish article

(Sabah Newspaper, 21 March 2014)

//ed. note: one of our rare non-Turkish reports but
one that meets the blog's high standards, nonetheless.//


Three policemen guarding the plantation home of
Pakistani Prime Minister Nawaz Sharif have been
relieved of duty after a cat attacked and ate the
PM's peacock.  According to a report in the Express
Tribüne newspaper, the remains of the peacock
were found on Tuesday by a gardener.

Nothing else to worry about?

One of the policemen told the paper that 21 security
personnel were summoned to give statements on
Wednesday. In their statements, the policemen
confirmed that they were on duty on the night in
question but did not consider the possibility that
a cat would attack the peacock.

The 18 policemen who did not have responsibility
for the garden lawns returned to duty but three
others were charged with neglect.  Sharif's plantation
home is located in Raiwind, near Lahore.

19 Mart 2014 Çarşamba

Empty Shoeboxes Deemed Contraband (Full Ones OK)

Türkçe links to original article

(Zaman Newspaper, 18 March 2014)

//ed. note: since 17 December 2013, shoeboxes have
taken on a somewhat metaphysical and transcendental
nature among the public in Turkey for some reason...//


Prior to Prime Minister Recep Tayyip Erdoğan's
meeting in Aydın, shopkeeper Ş.I., who has a
store on Adnan Menderes Boulevard, was taken
into custody by police for selling empty shoeboxes
in front of his store for 1 lira apiece.

Police took wide-ranging precautions for the AK
Party's meeting in Aydın. Just before the meeting
began in Istasyon Square, police took Ş.I. off to
provincial police headquarters.

 A friend of Ş.I.'s claimed that Ş.I. had been taken
into custody on the whim of police. This woman,
who works in Ş.I.'s store, noted that "we put the
boxes out in front of the store like we always do,
to sell them. Just because Recep Tayyip Erdoğan
is coming they're giving everyone a hard time."

After Ş.I. was taken into custody the woman closed
his store.

                  Aydın province

18 Mart 2014 Salı

Kidnapping For (and By) Dummies

Türkçe links to original Turkish article

(Sabah Newspaper, 16 March 2014)

Can't even trust the doorman anymore.

The daughter of famous gynecologist Dr. Faik Acar
Koç of Ankara University, was kidnapped for ransom
in Istanbul. The hostage-taker demanded 250,000 Euros
but he was caught in Bahçeköy, thanks to technical tracking.

The interesting incident developed as follows: Koç's 24
year-old daughter G.K. lives by herself in Istanbul where
she works for an audit firm.  G.K. walks to and from work.
Sebahattin Y. is a doorman at an apartment building on
G.K.'s street.

Sebahattin Y. rented a minivan and got himself plastic
handcuffs, a fake revolver, a ski mask and a switchblade.
At 9 A.M. Sebahattin Y. kidnapped the young woman and
took her to Belgrad Forest near Istanbul. Using G.K.'s
cellphone, Sebahattin Y. phoned Dr. Koç and demanded
a ransom of 250,000 Euros

After nightfall, G.K. and Sebahattın Y. slept in the back of
the minivan. Meanwhile, her family requested technical
tracking of the suspect from the police. In the morning,
G.K. complained of the cold so Sebahattin Y. got a room
in a hotel (!).

However, since there was another outstanding warrant for
Sebahattin Y., when he registered at the hotel he was
taken into custody.  From the police station, Sebahattin Y.
called G.K. and got her to believe that she was being
followed by others. He told G.K. that if he could get out
of the police station he would be able to block these other
(imaginary) pursuers.

Nevertheless, the police got a tip that sent them back to
the hotel where they found G.K. Sebahattin Y. was captured,
as well.

17 Mart 2014 Pazartesi

Bar Fight Ends Badly, Aftermath Worse

Türkçe links to original Turkish article

(Sabah Newspaper, 15 March 2014)

Seems like a nice place to have a cold one.

A fight broke out in a bar in Esetçe town in Ipsala
district of Edirne province and bar owner Şenol
Sayın killed the person he argued with. Afterwards,
Sayın wounded 4 people in two villages.

Imdat Erkenci (45) went to the bar owned by Sayın (40)
and after a while the two got into a fight. When Erkenci
left the establishment he was shot from behind by Sayın.
Erkenci died at the hospital. It is understood that Erkenci,
the married father of two, was recently released from jail.

After the murder, Sayın took off in his car and headed for
Esetçe town and Aliço Pehlivan village, where he rained
terror on the residents. Using the same revolver he had
killed Erkenci with, Sayın started firing and wounded two

Leaving this location, Sayın went to Kocahıdır town and
met up with Yüksel Akduğan and Mustafa Akduğan,
with whom Sayın has a running feud.  Sayın shot and
wounded both Akduğan's, who were brought to Keşan
State Hospital. Mustafa is doing well but Yüksel's
situation remains serious.

Sayın was captured by Gendarmerie teams at Koyuntepe
village and taken into custody.

Ipsala district is West of Keşan, on the Greek border.

16 Mart 2014 Pazar

Grasshoppers For Dinner? OK

Türkçe links to original Turkish article

(Hürriyet Newspaper, 14 March 2014)


Interesting questions continue to come to the
Ministry for Religious Affairs. The Ministry's
Supreme Council for Religious Affairs has
provided the following guidance for those
asking "what meat can I eat?":

"With regard to animals for which there is no
proscription in the Koran, Islamic scholars have
reached the conclusion that animals that are not
dirty and disgusting and which do not eat carcass
or filth; which are created without brutality and
courseness; and which are not disgusting to look at
can be considered canonically eatable."

"Consequently, kangaroo meat is permissible to
eat since the kangaroo is like the prey animals
gazelle, deer, and antelope that are bred on grass
and clean feed. Grasshoppers also fall into the
permissible category because they can be eaten
at circumcisions, by special dispensation.
However, because badgers are in the animal group
that is predatory and carnivorous, it is not proper
to eat their meat."

15 Mart 2014 Cumartesi

Firefighters Rescue Lazy Students

Türkçe links to original Turkish article

(Posta Newspaper, 13 March 2014)

'Get Out of Jail Free' card works this time but...

Seven boarding students at the Industry Profession
High School in Yüksekova district of Hakkari
province failed to emerge from their dormatory
in spite of the bell ringing to summon them to
morning lessons.  Offıcials of the school then locked
the door to the canteen, where the 7 students were
located, as punishment.

In response, the students used their cellphones to
call the fire department, which sent firefighters to
the scene. The firefighters parked in front of the
dormatory, raised the fire ladder and rescued the
students through a dorm window.

Yüksekova district (blue) in far eastern
                Hakkari province.