11 Mart 2019 Pazartesi

TNT Matchbox Diary: A Turkish POW in Russian Prison Camp (1915-1918)/Part XXXV

//Ed. Note: Just about every day, Fuad Bey goes for a dip
in the Vetluga River in the morning.  Otherwise, though,
he's battling the depression associated with captivity. He
gets conflicting reports about the Russian Army's 
westward progress in Anatolia.//

vetluga river ile ilgili görsel sonucu


16 July 1916 Sunday
We took a swim in the river in the morning. The weather was nice and 
hot. We passed the time pleasantly but the discomfort was not 
completely wiped away. This horrible captivity will continue to crush 
me at every opportunity as long as it lasts. Sometimes I think about 
sweet and cheerful things and this gives me a strong feeling of 
happiness. My heart thumps with this gladness but my soul is buried 
in this lonliness. But this exceptional time is temporary and represents 
but a few roses gathered together. How is it that this sweet-smelling 
brief time can pass as if held in gentle and soft hands and then when
things start to go bad again my existence is set free among  the
great and beautiful circumstances it produces. But nevertheless it 
can’t save me from being a victim of distress. According to a Russian
 newspaper, Erzurum is ours for sure. In the evening we poked fun at 
one another and had fun. During this time I didn’t fail to hear some 
significant words.


17 July 1916 Monday
Once again after morning tea we went for a swim in the river. The 
weather is nice and very hot, wherever we are we sweat. In the 
afternoon everyone else went outside but I walked a bit in the  garden 
and then came back to lie down.  I started to fall asleep, thinking 
about nice things relating to the future (before supper). I had a fight 
with Burhan today because of some childish things he did. He got on 
my nerves and I decided I won’t talk to him again. Again, we passed
the time pleasantly with jokes and mimicry. I showed some 
improvement in gymnastics, jumping from the front and pulling myself 
above the iron with two hands. I can easily do a few other movements, 
too. At night Halis and I talked about our country at my bed. I’m 
getting French lessons from Osman. I was able to lie down at midnight.

18 July 1916 Tuesday
We repeated the river bath in the morning. Today was very hot. My 
time passes rather restlessly because I don’t have any serious work to 
keep myself busy with. With every passing hour I’m suffering more 
anxiety. In fact, toward evening this anxiety spread all through me, 
making me sad and unhappy. My soul’s only friend is my spirit, which 
wipes away the sadness and despair and sometimes lets me think about 
better times. But what’s the use, sometimes my spirit is bedridden. It 
leaves my self carefree. Now I’m being crushed under terrible anxiety
and violent effects. I have no hope, much despair. God you are great. 
Save poor Fuad who has suffered for five years, let him be glad, let 
him laugh.

A darkness that crashes to evening
A sadness that blackens hope
Ruined, soul of the rose garden
Broken, tranquil heart

19 July 1916 Wednesday
Again in the morning we had a bath in the river. The weather is nice 
and hot. The heat has made everyone irritable. I went to see Şerif 
before noon and we talked a bit. My pitiful morale is worn out and 
anxious today. Under its effect, I was quite depressed toward evening. 
I’m thinking of Istanbul and picturing my family. Who knows? If they 
have no news of my health I can only Guess at how they’re passing 
these dark days. Then I look at my situation and I feel like crying.
There’s nothing that can comfort me. Nor is there a loyal friend to 
console me. All the fellows here are depressed anyway, I’m not the 
only one. All of us. In a dream tonight I suffered another calamity. 
My father seemed to be in the same city as I and he was fighting 
with Major Mümtaz. Then, based on the order of the command there, 
he was transferred to another town so I was to be separated from my 
father. Just then, my father strongly consoled me. Afterwards I woke
up and felt irritated. I wish for peacefulness.
 vetluga river ile ilgili görsel sonucu
The Vetluga River, a tributary of the Volga, is a bit to the 
left of Nizhny Novgorod on the map and flows into the 
Volga from the north.

20 July 1916 Thursday
We went for a bath in the river again in the morning. Since the river 
bed is muddy it’s annoying. The weather is clear and hot. Another 
irritating thing happened. In the house: we were going to get bread 
from the Austrian committee for six kopeks per funt (12 oz./ 409.5 
grams), with the  Commander’s permission but although the 
committee had the bread brought to the door the Russian guards 
prevented this. The guard leader confessed that there was permission 
but the soldier wouldn’t let us have the bread because he supposedly 
hadn’t heard about the permission even though the leader was his 
immediate commander. The is that the soldiers cannot get bribes. 
Because whatever we get from other places we pay more and the 
soldiers get a kickback from the sellers.  What low fellows! Finally 
they did as they said they would and didn’t let us have the bread. 
The Commander came to the house again in the evening and we 
asked him for permission to get today’s bread and also oil from 
the committee. He agreed. There’s not much oil in the market and 
if you find it it’s 120 kopeks per funt and 45 kuruş per okka 
((2.8 lbs.))

21 July 1916 Friday
After morning tea we went to the bath, where we got thoroughly 
cleaned up. The weather is Nice. Hot again. Today yet another 
painful, irritating thing happened. Based on the permission
we obtained from the Commander yesterday, we got bread and 
onions from the committee and brought them as far as the door, but 
in vain because the policeman standing outside the door blocked it.  
The reason was that no order had been received from the 
Commander on this subject. Our guardian saw all of this and even
though he knew about the Commander’s permission of yesterday 
he didn’t lift a finger.  So we couldn’t get these things either and 
they were returned. As usual, when the Commander came in the 
evening we told him all of this in detail and expressed our dismay.  
The Commander then went back on his word and said that from 
now on we wouldn’t get anything from the committee and could 
get things only from the market. He said a few other things as well. 
We were quite angry. The Russians don’t keep their word. In the 
evening Salah and Captain Hakkı had a big quarrel. Salah said 
some things he shouldn’t have and a bit later he admitted his mistake. 
What an embarrassment!

22 July 1916 Saturday
Again this morning we took a bath (in the river). The weather was 
rather cold and toward evening it began to drizzle. Today I spoke 
with Şerif and Mehmet in the garden. In the evening, before dinner, 
I was annoyed by a rude remark that Selahaddin made. Because 
rather than just being a sarcastic remark there was a serious aim in 
his words. After dinner we went into the garden and had a discussion 
about the matter. I really felt sorry for the poor fellow because this 
pauper of a man is absolutely hopeless. In the evening I heard some
 bad news:  the Russians have taken Bayburt and have advanced 
beyond it. What I don’t understand is that these days we’re hearing
very conflicting reports. May God help the Turks.

23 July 1916 Sunday
After morning tea we had a bath in the river again. The weather is 
not good. Despite the cloudiness, there’s a terrible discomfort. 
We’re constantly perspiring. Today I moved my bed to the spot 
where Mehmet Ağa’s had been because he went to the room where the
older fellows are. Salah and a few other people objected to this. In fact,
toward evening Hakkı came to me and made a sarcastic remark about 
me moving back to my old spot. I said that I could use this place and 
that there wasn’t any power that could make me move from it. What 
ridiculous things! Perhaps in time they’ll realize. I got mad at Ethem 
in the evening. He was angry about a little joke although he himself is 
always playing jokes. He started to show a brooding and crinkled face 
and was acting proud and arrogant. But this was artificial…vile bastard.
Supposedly today 23 (10) July was the day of togetherness.
On the contrary, the effect of captivity crushed and battered us.

24 July 1916 Monday
The weather is quite a bit worse. I couldn’t go to the river. It rained 
heavily. The news I heard today was quite distressing. The Russian 
newspaper and agencies wrote that the Russians have successfully 
advanced from Bayburt and Mamahatun and the Arabs have declared 
independence, seized Mecca, plundered the ammunition there and 
taken many prisoners, in fact killing some. Oh, the lowdown Arabs!

//END of PART XXXV//


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