getting caught, there are big changes in store for Fuad Bey
and his companions.//
11 October 1916 Wednesday
Everyone is full of regret. Once again,
we’ve been made a laughing
stock in front of the Russians. These lovesick fools with the letters
they’ve written are sacrificing their mothers, fathers and even their
homeland for the sake of their
sweethearts. What unfeeling fellows!
Everyone is telling them what they think. After the weather cleared
the sergeant-major came from the Command. He screamed that since
we knew what had happened we
should have beaten these fellows.
Just before noon the fat Russian secretary came and took their
statements. The Commander came in the afternoon and went out with
Osman, although Osman was not
guilty at all…the day passed with
torment. In the evening the sergeant-major came and told us to get
ready because we were
going to trade houses with the majors. So
we got ready and waited. We wondered about
a thousand things –
would our dreams had been destroyed. Deciding
that if we were
to think such a thing, we would prefer to hug each other under
Russian bayonettes and
drown in the river. The sergeant-major
returned again very late. He said that we will go to
the other house
tomorrow. Henceforth, we can’t go anywhere. The same for the
married fellows.
We were all very upset and regretful about all of
this. Everyone spoke very harshly to the
three lovesick fellows…
12 October 1916 Thursday
Morning came. The sky took on a light color
and spread the effect
of the light. There was a gloominess all around. We were in a sad
state. We drank our tea. As the rain came down we moved to the new
house. Leaving Halis with
our things, I gave the basket and blankets
to the sergeant and came to the new house. There
were eight of us,
including Osman. Each of us picked a place. Then the others,
everyone
came. They separated Osman from us and took him to
another house, which made us sad. A
bit later Saffet, Salah, Hakkı,
Ethem, Tahir and Nuri went to the newly-opened house
(Malaşova)
but then Saffet, Salah, Hakkı and Ethem returned. In their place,
Erzurumlu Hasan
left. Our ustarşı (supervisor) here is now Çerkes
Mehmet. A Hungarian doctor who is a
prisoner came to our house
too. The divisions have been made into three rooms, all a bit
different from each other. The name of the house is Aralsof house.
In the little room: Çerkes
Mehmet, the doctor, Hurşid, Hasan, Rıfkı;
in the middle room: Saffet, Salah, Mustafa, Hakkı, Ethem, me,
Halis and Fahri; in the big room: Trabzonlu Hasan, Burhan, Zühdü,
the
secretary, Kazim, Mehmet Ağa, Süleyman, Captain Hikmet and
married Mustafa. Our place was
by the side of the window. Hakkı
also wanted this spot and even though first Ethem and
then Saffet
asked us to vacate this spot for Hakkı we were able to refuse because
Halis,my
honored friend, needs to be by the window. They were
mad at us because of this. Our
time here passes with boredom. We
can’t go anywhere and there’s no one to give us
language lessons.
Everything is up in the air. In the evening
the secretary and sergeant-
major came from the Command. They searched the three lovesick
fools very thoroughly
but they didn’t find anything other than a letter
and a few envelopes.
13 October 1916 Friday
The sky is cloudy and dark. An order from
the Command: we cannot
go anywhere. The Commander won’t come to the house. Supposedly,
it’s
pressure but it means nothing to me. It’s just that I feel bad because
we’ve become a joke for the
Russians. These kinds of things merely
expose the shortcomings in our personal upbringing and
society. Yusuf
and his friends came from the other side for a visit. Salah is requesting
that
they come here, in consideration of the married fellows here going
over there. Yusuf didn’t agree to this, making an excuse.
He’s right
though. The aim would be preventing Çerkes Mehmet’s
self-enjoyment.
Çerkes Mehmet, who appointed himself our ustarşi (supervisor), issued
a notice of
regulations for the house just yesterday, requesting that we
implement them. This is good but the
title was a bit heavy-handed…
nevertheless, as far as I’m concerned it’s fine but if it doesn’t
relate to
law, the nation, honor and a person then…Salah’s aim seems to have
been to dominate
everyone by bringing in Captain Yusuf…Tahir and
Nuri came today and sat with us for a while.
We went to bed late.
14 October 1916 Saturday
The weather is cloudy. There was a light
rain until evening. The rock
paths and sidewalks are composed of dirt on their surfaces so
they’re
all steeped in mud. Only the main path is covered with a thin layer of
bricks that have been
brought in from outside. The poor construction
of streets and roads has lead to the creation of
little pools. The weather
is cold all the time, especially in the mornings when it’s freezing…
since I didn’t
have anything to keep me busy I spent most of the day
in bed. Boring. We bought a lot of carrots
today and ate them as though
they were fruit. But fruit can be found here. An apple, though,
is very
expensive. Because I ate the carrots on an empty stomach I got an ache.
The married fellows
in our house (the secretary, the captain and the tall
fellow) made a request to the Command and
they went back to our old
house and settled in there. Since no one came to our house in
their stead
our individual places have expanded. Fahri from our room and Rıfkı
from the small room
moved into the vacated room. In the evening we
got tobacco and cigarette paper from Kazim
(we already had matches).
We gave him cash for a part of the deal and deducted the rest
from his
debt to us. He still owes us 160 kopeks. Salah paid his debt today. Just
one ruble remains
outstanding. Zühdü’s debt is 87 kopeks…we bought
one and a half rubles worth of chits for
tea. We chatted a bit and then I
went to bed. I had an odd dream at night, as if I’d become a
regular
army officer.
15 October 1916 Sunday
The weather is still bad. Light rain now
and then. Cold…I spent the day
in bed with nothing else to do. I had no desire to do anything
either.
This evening there was another strange incident. Everyone went to the
big room and
the Hungarian doctor went, as well, in a big rush. We
wondered what was happening so we
ran there too and saw Kazim
stretched out on his bed, staring at the ceiling. I
waited but for a quarter
of an hour he didn’t close his eyes at all. They tried to scare hime out
of it
with hand gestures but to no avail. They had him smell ammonia
but he didn’t even notice.
Whatever was done he didn’t feel
anything.
He was lifeless and couldn’t be revived
either. We notified the
Command right away and the Commander came soon after. He felt
sorry
for the young fellow. Then he advised us to behave ourselves,
respect our elders,
support our comrades and not allow fights to occur
among ourselves. He said with regret that
he didn’t know of any army
like ours where the soldiers could not get along with each
other. In
other words, the Commander meant to say that Kazim’s situation was
the result of
our inability to coexist together…in any event, the
Hungarian doctor gave his diagnosis:
‘melancholic, hopeless love’.
Kazim lost half of his life because of the effect of this. He had
written
some crazy things in his notebook…the last thing he wrote was that
he was mad at
someone he didn’t name and planned to kill. Salah and
his pals were worried about this
( because he had been opposed to
their affairs. Essentially, it was he himself who
inflamed the situation)
and they didn’t sleep until morning. A lot of things were said
about
Kazim, about whether what he did was fake or real. Based on what I
witnessed I
believe it was real. I listened all around. Everyone had an
opinion…I tried to get a
notion from this. Halis and I talked about it
quite a bit before going to bed.
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