Selahattin's diary, our hero is continuing
his first semester at IU medical school. He
divides his time between classes and billiards.
Cemile is still very much on his mind,
though.
TNT will continue Selahattin's diary a
few days from now.//
IU coeds in the 1930s - but for Selahattin it's
Cemile or no one.
Sunday, 21 January 1934
A letter and 5 lira came from my father on the 14th of the
month. Ramazan holiday was Wednesday, Thursday and
Friday but the holiday was very low-key. I wrote a letter
to my father yesterday. I got holiday cards from the
Principal and Hazım Bey.
Tuesday, 23 January 1934
The dorm’s test date has been set: Sunday evening, the
28th of the month. We’ve started studying in a calm
manner.
Sunday, 28 January 1934
I got a letter from Reşad on Thursday, one from my father
on Friday, one from Kemal on Saturday and one from my
brother-in-law on Sunday.
In my father’s letter he talked about the stern letter I wrote.
Rather than being glad about this, I felt badly because my f
ather and mother were hurt by it. Yet I always only want
to see them happy.
In order to reconcile the hastiness I displayed, I wrote an
answer the same day.
We took the test in the evening. The questions: layşmanya
(leishmaniasis) ?fevrunukulozos? (?fever nucleosis?). Chest
functions. Instruments used to obtain ?İ H? ...f. Virtual
?dissection? in a ?microscope?. Time polarization. Of
course, since it was easy I wrote the answers in an hour
and handed it in.
Monday, 29 January 1934
I recieved 10 lira. I got Cemal’s letter, which had been
sitting in the faculty window for 6 days. In the evening
I wrote letters to Kemal, Cemal and Reşad.
Atatürk at IU, December 1930.
February
Thursday, 1 February 1934
The faculty was locked today. Let’s see what I’ll do
with myself until the 17th of the month! At least I can
do some studying.
Friday, 2 February 1934
Şemsi and I went to see Namık in the morning.
Although he was concerned about his test, he studied
for 3 days and got 3-4 five, so he was quite pleased.
In any case, he’s a smart guy. I wrote my father a letter.
Saturday, 3 February 1934
Well, at least they didn’t lose. But Galatasaray was
ahead in the first half so the fact that they ended up in a
tie was like a loss. I wish they would have gotten more
points in this second meeting. I stayed at the bath until
noon. In the afternoon I wrote a letter to Sabri.
Sunday, 4 February 1934
going somewhere together. When I woke up with the
sweetness of the dream I was in my bed. Because of the
depth of the joy I felt about the dream, I understood that
I love her very much. Oh My God! When I come face,
to face with her will I be able to tell her about my love?
And then will I get a positive response? Or will the green
eyes I long for look at me without mercy? Although I’m
in Istanbul, what good is that my heart has been emptied.
I wish I was back in Sivas even though it ate 3 years of
my life and caused me to say ‘enough!’. In any case, my
classes during the day made me forget the slow passing of
the day until evening. I’m thinking: what am I? What
will I be? Nothing. More to the point, a good-for-nothing,
if I wasn’t one already. I shouldn’t have said those harsh
words to my parents. Oh, if I hadn’t been such a good-for-
nothing. I shouldn’t have any hopes that something might
be possible for me from this life that pains me. Why am I
living? To repay the debt I owe my parents. If only I could.
German-Jewish scientists at IU in the 1930s.
Monday, 5 February 1934
I read Mehmet Rauf’s “Böğurtlen”. In it he describes
love as “a carefree good-for-nothing that disregards time,
place, rules and personality”. I can accept the last parts,
but not the good-for-nothing part. Love isn’t a good-for-
nothing, but a good-for-nothing who treats love carelessly
is stonehearted. The writer of the novel described the
woman’s personality very well but when he uses the
good-for-nothing characterization shouldn’t it end with
a love that isn’t right? Perhaps I’ll do the same thing
that Pertev Bey does in the novel and end up with
something much less than love. Or I’ll just add being
a good-for-nothing to my already indifferent life.
Tuesday, 6 February 1934
In the afternoon all of us from the dormatory went to the
Topkapı Museum. I saw quite a lot of things there but
we essentially raced through the museum and adjacent
buildings in 2.5 hours. In other words, one cannot
appreciate the museum in just one day. There were
quite a few Chinese ceramics in the museum and
one can’t get enough of the sultans’ outfits and thrones.
Wednesday, 7 February 1934
In the afternoon I began to read the novel “Harb Dönüşü”,
which I bought for 50 kuruş. I liked it a lot.
Thursday, 8 February 1934
I finished the novel. The ending really made an
impression on me. Unfortunately, Macid didn’t achieve
the love he so longed for. His longing did him no good.
Isn’t the reason the lack of discussion? In any case,
,wasn’t it little coincidences that blocked all his hopes?
So what is the world all about? Is it really nothing at all?
Are we at themercy of coincidences? The loveliest
hours can be laced with tears. When you’re a student,
you’re devastated by the pressure of tests. The great
hopes you’ve nurtured through the trials and tribulation
of this student life can turn to ashes by way of a
coincidence, like a house that burns down because of a
single spark.
Friday, 9 February 1934
I got a letter from my father, which made me both glad
and sad. As always, he’s telling me to be careful with my
expenses. So what should I do? If I were in Sivas now
everything would be half as expensive as it is here
and I wouldn’t have to listen to my father’s complaints.
I wrote a response today. I also sent answers to the
questions posed by the society I’m going to join.
Saturday, 10 February 1934
I received letters from Osman and Hakkı (via Tevfik).
This letter stirred old memories and almost made me cry l
ike a child. Especially, my last year of high school, coming
to the school at midnight, sneaking off to the movies,
hanging around the coffee house on Fridays and my love
for her in the Spring, the squirrels along the road and
finally graduation. For the first time, I had to make-up
philosophy, making my summer vacation painful, but I
finally got through high school and entered by new life
as a university student.
Sunday, 11 February 1934
Şemsi took action – he decided to pursue the girl he met
on the street. As for me, I’m indifferent to such things.
He scolds me for it, saying it would be pleasant for me.
I just laugh and remember the decision I made long ago:
either her or no one.
Monday, 12 February 1934
The weather is very nice today. It’s like summer and I
wore out the sidewalks walking around.
Tuesday, 13 February 1934
I got letters frm Cemal and Reşad. Cemal wrote that
he’ll go to Tokat at semester break. This made me sad
and envy Cemal. The weather turned bad. In fact, the
snow stuck to the ground.
Wednesday, 14 February 1934
and it continued in the morning. The blizzard kept
on until evening, causing injuries and even deaths.
Thursday, 15 February 1934
The snow stopped but now there’s fierce cold. I
began to play billiards and paid 10 kuruş for my first
game.
Friday, 16 February 1934
Today the weather was sunny at times and at other times
there were snow flurries. I played billiards for 6 hours
and paid 20 kuruş. In the end I won. Around noon I read
Kemal’s letter and was glad about the news he wrote
concerning her. But henceforth I don’t want to write a
letter to her wherever she is.
Saturday, 17 February 1934
The weather is cold again. I wrote a letter to my father.
Since the chemistry professor was sick, I only read
physics. I played billiards and won.
Sunday, 18 February 1934
I wrote letters to Reşad, Osman and Hakkı. Today I
started morphology and language classes. I’m in B
language class.
Monday, 19 February 1934
I wrote letters to Kemal and Cemile. Let’s see what answer I
get. Again I’ve started to get my hopes up. But if it turns
out like the last time, I’ll make a definite decision to become
the enemy of women.
I got a registration card for the Temperance Society from
Fethime. The weather improved.
Thursday, 22 February 1934
The weather turned bad again. In the morning everything
was covered with snow.
Friday, 23 February 1934
I got a card and a letter from my father. He wrote that my
brother-in-law is going to do his military service. The
weather cleared and the snow began to melt.
Wednesday, 28 February 1934
The weather has been good for three days. My raincoat
is too heavy for this weather. Morphology class is really
bad, we had a lot of pages. In language class I’m still
in B. I went to class last evening. Even though this
course seems advanced for me, I want to stay with my
friends and not move to the A class. Yesterday morning
Şemsi succeeded in his quest.
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