24 Mayıs 2019 Cuma

TNT Matchbox Diary: A Turkish POW in Russian Prison Camp (1915-1918)/Part LXVI

//Ed. Note: Fuad Bey prepared a diary for the upcoming 
year - but never wrote in it, perhaps because of the 
increasing tumult in revolutionary Russia.//

kibrit kutusundaki sarıkamış-sibirya günlükleri ile ilgili görsel sonucu

7 February 1917 Wednesday
The weather is still cloudy. The cold seems to have eased somewhat. 
News: Germany says that America cutting political relations is a bluff 
by Russian agents. With the 1,000 submarines they’ve put in place the 
Germans have blockaded all the seas and sunk more than ten English 
ships. From now on the Germans will use every means possible to 
impose peace on their enemies. We went to the market in the afternoon 
and got two large notebooks. Today I worked on sewing together
a diary I want to prepare for the year Rumi 333 (1917).

8 February 1917 Thursday
The weather is cloudy. Not very cold. I got up a bit late today. I heard 
that Saffet has moved to Adilfinski house. The reason supposedly is to
teach Tahir German. I asked around and it seems that he’s had a falling 
out with Salah. He separated his things three days ago. He was upset
because he and Salah weren’t talking anyway. That’s why he left…ah, 
the good old days! You are such an unfathomable puzzle that sometimes 
you come up with strange things to spoil things between fellows you’ve 
been good friends with. You’ll make those you let laugh today moan
tomorrow. But you’re innocent, you’re not the one who does this. Those 
who do this are the devil’s people and you just expose their tricks and 
do us the favor of perceiving its real nature. Days that once passed 
pleasantly are today in confusion because hearts that beat with controlled
feeling and desire have been mingled with secret hypocricies. Yes, this 
was going to be and should be so that things like this can give a person 
experience in this world. I went to the other house for a while in the 
afternoon. We chatted. I had a dream at night. It seemed that we were 
in the house in Ankara. I had gotten up earlier than everyone else. My 
mother and father were there. Then a crowd gathered. My father became 
an imam and lead the morning prayer. He conducted the prayer with an 
intention.

9 February 1917 Friday
The weather is cloudy. Still not very cold. It fell below minus 20. News: 
(Tercüman) 10,000 students have gone to Germany for education. When 
I heard this news I was happy but I sighed, as well. I was happy because 
they’ll learn all the arts and make our Turkey, what’s left of it, shine. I 
sighed because had I been in Turkey now I would no doubt have been 
included. Ah fortune, you’ve been so cruel to me by dragging me to this 
moment with a chain of so many calamities, which you’ve subjected me 
to during the brightest time of my youth. And you’re still dragging me. 
I’m not sorry that I’ve suffered these calamities. On the contrary, 
they’ve been lessons for me and I’m glad because they’ve given me a 
great desire for work and have explained my life to a certain degree.
But I regret that you, fortune, have made it so difficult for me to find the 
way to worthwhile endeavors and you continue to do so. Because by 
your actions you’re playing with my esteemed life and are probably 
leaving me on a road that will drag me to my death. Without losing a 
minute, I want to continually work, learn everything and completely 
renounce ignorance. But I’m somewhat shy. There’s no one to help me. 
Ah, lonliness, I have no one! Dear God, give me strength and grant
me the chance to be with my family while I’m alive so that my hopes 
aren’t completely crushed. Because only then can help me achieve my 
sacred desire. Today even though the notorious Captain Kır Mustafa 
came to our house from Lebedof, unfortunately he went again. At night 
Zühdü and I talked about the future. He said that if I join his profession 
then we’ll definitely go to Europe together, no matter what. I agreed. 
This being the case, we said that we would study German with
greater enthusiasm and Halis joined in with us, too.

10 February 1917 Saturday
The weather is cloudy, bad. Lots of snow fell. The cold is not so bad. 
Today passed uneventfully. Ah, captivity has so shaken my memory I 
can’t remember yesterday. But yesterday for me was a day that will 
never be forgotten. That day gave me the chance to know myself. That 
day laid before my eyes, by torment and calamity, all that is real. Ah, 
how sorrowful a day, so filled with sadness. I’m living that day within 
a calamity that cruelty has rolled over me. All hope was extinguished, 
my desires all blackened. Not even one candle reflecting these could be 
seen before my eyes. Life had lost all its value at this point. Happiness 
could only be through death. Fortune was begrudging this happiness 
from us and subjecting us to endless crushing, painful tortures…Ah, 
Dear God, grant us happiness and let us forget the troublesome and 
terrible memories of these black days. May the damage done be 
repaired. German is now at a standstill.  Zühdü just has to advance. 
The Russians are going to make the prisoner soldiers work, supposedly 
they’re going to gather up all the servants in the houses and replace 
them with crippled soldiers. I finished the diary completely. Today I 
felt a violent pain in my right foot, in particular. I was afraid it might be 
rheumatism but by morning it had gone away.

Tercüman is Stil Talking About  Preparations in Germany

11 February 1917 Saturday
The weather is overcast. The cold has completely lost its bitter edge. 
This cold reminds one of the cold in low-lying places in our country. 
News: (Tercüman) the preparations in Germany are being talked about 
again. Our enemies are both afraid of us and avoiding peace. They 
always say: ‘we can’t make peace until victory is completely achieved.’ 
It’s as if they’re on the verge of victory, just waiting for the final triumph. 
I got a letter from Franz in the morning. In it he said that he hadn’t been 
able to find an easy German reader for us as he had promised but that we 
should be able to benefit to some degree from a regimental friend of his, 
an Austrian,  who has come to our house as a servant. He added that he 
will soon be sent elsewhere and that he was hoping to write a letter or a 
card to his country about this. He wrote also that he would like me to 
keep an eye on Joseph and that, if possible, he wanted me to save him 
from his impending transport. In reply, I wrote that I was sorry about his
 departure, that I wanted him to stay here and that all his wishes will be 
granted. Tonight we had a German lesson from the newly-arrived 
Austrian. His teaching is not bad. We took a walk today up to the 
riverside. Tonight memories of the past and especially thos calamitous 
times came to life in my mind. I was sorry that I didn’t have a good
friend at that time. Because my friends then were all fair-weather 
friends…I went to bed late. Supposedly today a Russian sergeant will 
inspect us. But right away we hid books and notebooks in foreign
languages.

//END of PART LXVI//

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