6 Mayıs 2019 Pazartesi

TNT Matchbox Diary: A Turkish POW in Russian Prison Camp (1915-1918)/Part LIII

//Ed. Note: In the midst of a cold December 1916 , Fuad 
Bey is downhearted, bearing the psychological burdens of 
captivity.//  

vetluga winter 1916 ile ilgili görsel sonucu


19 December 1916 Tuesday
The weather is nicer than yesterday. The clouds have lessened. News: 
writers are commenting on all the notes that have been issued…the 
Allied Powers’ writers are interpreting things such that by giving these 
proposals the Germans have lost their will for war.  In the afternoon 
Halis and I went to Malaşova for a visit. We sat and talked. Everyone’s 
thoughts were on the matter of the war’s prolongation. Over there we 
spoke with Süleyman, who’s in detention, while standing. Toward 
evening we returned. We worked on German halfheartedly at night. 
There was quite a pain in my soul this evening. I’m thinking about the 
future, wondering about my poor family and how they are and cursing 
the fleeting days of my youth…I don’t know, when will a happy day 
come? When will we poor wretches be saved from these torments and
emotions?  When will we laugh again? Halis and Salah almost had an 
argument in the morning. Fortunately, it quickly passed. Halis gets mad 
like a child. Anyway, Salah is a trouble-maker, a lowdown fellow.


20 December 1916 Wednesday
The weather is overcast. It’s cold just like every other day. Holding at -20 
degrees. News: the notes in question have been given to Italy via the Pope. 
It says that it cannot respond until after consulting with the Allies. The 
Commander came in the morning and said that typhus has reared its head 
again in Russia and that we must be especially careful that it doesn’t 
spread from the mujiks to the prisoners.  Trabzonlu Ethem, who lives in 
our house, asked the Commander if he could move to the house across
from the post office in consideration of his suffering from rheumatism. 
In mid-afternoon he left with all his belongings. The real reason for his  
move is not rheumatism but rather his fights with his fellow townsman 
Salah. Supposedly, Salah is forever saying bad things about him. Ethem 
was affected by this and couldn’t take it anymore. Even though Ethem 
has done some bad things to me, I felt sorry for him. We didn’t have a 
lesson at night. All I think about is my family. I went to bed late at night.
I read Halis some of the portions of my notebook that pertain to 
Sarıkamış. I had a mixed-up dream. A wolf chased me. I was hidden in 
a room in the house in Ankara. Then they threw the wolf outside
the door. My mother brought a bed of straw, upon which there was some
snow. A few other things…

21 December 1916 Thursday
The weather is cloudy, bad. Snow fell toward evening. The Commander 
sent our old ustarşi  (Russian supervisor) to us in the morning and told 
him to have us clean our house. He relayed this to us. Çerkes Mehmet 
then gathered us all together and told us that rather than hearing this 
thoughtless Russian talk we should pay more attention to things ourselves 
and appoint a duty officer. We agreed and Hikmet became the first duty 
officer. He had us clean our room and the big room until evening. I didn’t 
work on German today. It was non-stop aggravation. If I’m idle for a 
moment I fall into thought. Halis is in a bad mood, too.  I wrote in my 
notebook in order to ease the aggravation but just the opposite occurred. 
I erased some redundant places and closed it. I sat for a long time at 
night before going to bed. Just as I fell asleep a horrifying scene 
confronted me. I wanted to scream but I couldn’t scream. I thought I 
was nearly going to lose my mind. In any event, I was able to scream 
and woke up. But right at that moment someone next to me said ‘stop!’.
I couldn’t see the face very well. Only from the clothes could I guess 
that it was Hasan or Zühdü. Anyway, I tried to sleep after this frightful
dream. With difficulty I was able to fall asleep very late.

22 December 1916 Friday
The weather is still overcast. The cloudiness eased somewhat toward 
evening. I spoke with a fellow Townsman named Ahmet Efendi 
yesterday. He’s also a reserve officer candidate. He’s a native of Ankara. 
Emin, a teacher, came to our house when Ethem Efendi moved and 
went to his old place again. Disinfection continued today. We finished 
the small room,wiped it down. Again, I’m quite aggravated. I’m 
constantly thinking about my family and sketching out what will happen 
in the future. Sometimes I’m hopeful and sometimes I’m caught up in 
fierce storms of gloom. I can’t remember the last time I had a nice 
thought. Whichever way I turn there’s sadness; whatever I grab hold of 
I see calamity. In short, since throughout my life I’ve never had a time 
that secured and provided happiness, now too I can’t be saved from such 
thoughts. With these thoughts in my mind, I wrote three letters to 
Istanbul today – one to my aunt, one to my brother, and one to my father. 
I wrote that although I’ve been a prisoner in Russia for ten months and 
have sent them many letters I haven’t received any replies from them. I 
went to bed early tonight because I feel bad and I have nothing to do. 
Again we couldn’t get a lesson from Franz.

23 December 1916 Saturday
The weather is cloudy. The streets are covered with snow. News: as a 
result of the note given to Russia there will be a meeting in St. 
Petersburg and the foreign ministers of Italy, England, France and those 
of Belgium, Serbia and Romania will be there. The negotiations will 
occur among the foreign ministers of the four states and the others will 
listen. According to rumors, the crushed smaller states will say to the 
big ones ‘we’ve been destroyed for your sake. Now save us.’ In the
morning half a ruble was collected from everyone based on a request 
from the other house. This money will be sent to the German and 
Austrian soldiers who are prisoners working in the kazarma (main 
barracks), on the occasion of our allies’ holiday. Around noon I got 
a letter from Hakkı Efendi written in French with some of the words 
I had sent to him. I wrote a letter to my father completely in French. 
Again, aggravation. We practiced German with Franz in the evening. 
I went to bed quite late. I saw my father, mother and brother in a 
dream. Halis and a few other fellows were with me. I asked my father 
‘have you received the letters I sent you?’ and he replied ‘yes, I have.’
Then while talking about some things we read a declaration which 
supposedly stated that the entire world would come against us and 
our allies. Consequently, however many men there are available 
they were all summoned to war. I asked my father for Halis and I 
to be in the same detachment and a few other things…I woke up.

24 December 1916 Sunday
The weather is bad, bitter cold. News: nothing new but there’s hope that 
the Allied Powers will move toward peace. They’ve asked for peace, 
too. But they want to act tough and slander us…today I sent the letter 
I wrote to my father yesterday. Again, we didn’t work on German 
because of Franz’s holiday. In the evening we celebrated Franz and 
Joseph’s holiday. Then Salah, Hikmet and I sat in the Hungarian 
doctor’s room for a bit and congratulated him on the holiday in the 
name of all the fellows. We chatted. At night Halis and I had a one-
on-one talke about our country…during the night, I must have 
laughed a couple of times in my sleep but I wasn’t aware of it. As 
I lay down I got a terrific headache. As the result of it I had trouble 
falling asleep.

25 December 1916 Monday
Like every other day, the weather is cloudy. There’s a light wind 
and snow mixed with rain is falling. I have a headache again today. 
In order to get some fresh air I went out by the front door. It passed,
not without difficulty, by evening. I’m deep in thought again today. 
That’s why I wasn’t able to work on my lessons. The day passed 
lost in thought. I’m thinking about my family, on the one hand, and 
on the other I’m thinking about my bad luck and the fact that I haven’t 
been able to enter a profession yet. And there’s the probability that 
I’ll have to face who knows what kind of obstacles and what kinds
of curses in my life ahead. Then I thought quite a bit about a third 
thing – slanders and wrongful accusations…but what’s the use, we
have had no fundamental training. Later I consoled myself
by remembering that these slanderers are known. I went to bed late.

//END of PART LIII//


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